|
by Fussbett 01/28/2006, 10:10pm PST |
|
 |
|
 |
|
INC: so remember the news about Ford yesterday?
INC: how they were laying off 30,000 workers over the next few years?
Sanitario666: yes
INC: so I come home and Time magazine is in the mailbox
INC: on the cover: Bill Ford
INC: I mean, what the hell?
INC: they must have known he was going to be on the cover, and timed the announcement to coincide with the magazine hitting newsstands.
Sanitario666: He's got big ideas to save the company.
INC: yeah, fire everyone
Sanitario666: Instant savings.
INC: he's giving Motown its mojo back
INC: by mojo, he means massive unemployment and rampant crime
INC: like the good old days
Sanitario666: Yeah, Motown better buckle up.
INC: nice
INC: you could write headlines
Sanitario666: The Ford restructuring plan is called "Way Forward"
INC: All workers, please move forward to the exit
Sanitario666: Wow, ten plants totally closed. I had no idea it was this bad.
INC: lots of mojo to be restored
Like its larger competitor General Motors Corp. (GM), Ford is struggling to rein in high costs and forestall a steady loss of market share to more-nimble foreign competitors.
Sanitario666: Fuck, how are they so nimble?
Sanitario666: Probably no workers.
INC: yeah, and they stupidly pay attention to the marketplace.
INC: when gas prices go up, they don't react by making bigger SUVs.
"People have begun calling it 'the Way Forward-without-you plan,'" one of the sources said. He said Ford asked salaried employees to turn in first-quarter vacation schedules by Jan. 12, and he said the speculation by employees is that Ford will use vacation plans to help decide when to cut employees.
INC: haha don't fall for that trick
Sanitario666: JANUARY 13th!!!!
A slew of vehicles that once were leaders in the market have grown old and lost sales in recent years. The list includes the Ranger pickup, the Focus sedan, the Taurus sedan and the company's minivans. The minivans are reportedly going to be redesigned as crossover vehicles in coming years or killed altogether.
"Ford will trail the industry in product age by third-quarter 2006," Citigroup's Rogers wrote in a note to investors Thursday. "On average, Ford's product portfolio will be the oldest in the industry from fourth quarter of 2006 through the first half of 2008."
Analysts criticize Ford for missing the boat on certain trends, or coming late to the party on market shifts. For instance, five of the seven top car companies in terms of U.S. sales are introducing or redesigning small cars - commonly referred to as 'B-cars' - for release in 2006. Ford is absent from the mix, saying it has yet to come up with a profitable and desirable vehicle for the segment.
INC: yeah, how can anyone conceive of a small car??
INC: it's ridiculous, why not just ask Ford to make a fucking bicycle
INC: this is a CAR COMPANY
"We'll see how the B-car market matures in North America," [Ford big guy] Fields said last week. The segment is expected to
post between 5% and 10% growth in 2006, according to GM estimates, and consumers are flocking to small cars amid consistently high gas prices.
Sanitario666: They're going to see how it matures.
Sanitario666: Then really start thinking about making one.
INC: yeah, this could just be a flash in the pan
INC: unlike SUV's, which are inherently great
Sanitario666: As soon as everyone's bought one: BOOM, Ford strikes.
INC: meanwhile, everyone else will be making hydrogen cars
Sanitario666: You don't want to get in too early. And look like a chump.
Ford Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Bill Ford Jr. said the auto maker has been caught off-guard by the dramatic
decline in SUV demand. He said the company had been planning on deterioration in the segment, and developing crossover SUVs - based on cars instead of trucks - in order to meet shifting tastes.
Sanitario666: Haha, this is too good.
INC: yeah, who could have seen that coming?
Ford's foray into the booming mid- and full-size crossover segment, which began in earnest in late 2004, follows far behind
the Japanese auto makers, which launched similar vehicles as early as 2000.
INC: fucking nimble Japs
Sanitario666: Ford's strategy of "Market Maturation Waiting": any flaws?
INC: psh, next you're going to say they should dive right into the Flying Cars market. Why not put hyperspace as standard on all vehicles?? You obviously don't know any thing about the automotive market
Sanitario666: I love how they're dealing with the decline of SUVs. "Ummm, SMALLER SUVS!"
Sanitario666: That's their big move.
INC: well, even that would have been something... if they'd done it 4 years ago
INC: like everone else did
INC: the other dumb thing is that all this ALREADY HAPPENED 30 years ago and this is the exact same thing
INC: gas prices went up, Japanese jumped in with smaller more efficient cars, American auto manufacturers went "WHA??"
INC: I can't wait for the Emporer or whatever that monstrosity was called
Sanitario666: haha yeah the Imperial
INC: yeah wasn't there already an Imperial? Like in the 50s?
Sanitario666: Sure. The 300 is old too. I think that's the schtick.
Sanitario666: 1957 Chrysler 300C
Sanitario666: There's a sail, to help with the "what a boat!" joke.
INC: yeah, the dock should be collapsing
INC: haha so huge
INC: it can comfortably fit 6 laid-off factory workers
Sanitario666: It will be a huge success, guaranteed. Unlike a Ford or GM product.
INC: yeah, it will instantly be in 90% of new rap videos
"The Imperial's exterior artfully blends a stately nobility, hand craftsmanship, and modern dynamic sculpture and proportion," says Mike Nicholas, principal exterior designer.
Sanitario666: "Sizzurup!" says Texan rap star Paul Wall |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
Welcome to INC and Fussbett's Kar Korner (log) by Fussbett 01/28/2006, 10:10pm PST 
WRONG by Title 01/29/2006, 5:22pm PST 
Exxon has record year. by Fussbett 01/30/2006, 9:35pm PST 
Bush to America: Stop loving oil so much, sheesh! by Fussbett 02/02/2006, 3:21am PST 
What? NT by laudablepuss NT by Department of Energy 02/02/2006, 12:31pm PST 
Exxon sets new record profit quarter in the history of capitalism. $11.7B NT by Fussbett 08/06/2008, 10:41pm PDT 
Hm how did they do that. ^_^ NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 08/06/2008, 10:48pm PDT 
Close factories here, open new ones in Mexico NT by Weyoun Voidbringer 02/11/2006, 10:45am PST 
SAVIOR! you have come to us in the form of a tiny virgin troll NT by Quentin Beck 02/23/2006, 3:20pm PST 
Fucking idiots by Quentin Beck 02/23/2006, 6:55pm PST 
Let me help you! by Mister Helper! 02/23/2006, 7:34pm PST 
I guess you're talking to Fussbett and INC by Fussbett 02/23/2006, 8:21pm PST 
Re: I guess you're talking to Fussbett and INC by Quentin Beck 02/23/2006, 11:47pm PST 
You're in the STUPIDhouse by Fussbett 02/24/2006, 2:05am PST 
Re: I guess you're talking to Fussbett and INC by Chairman Mao 02/24/2006, 8:39am PST 
WAAAH! I STOPPED POSTING by BUT ZSENI NO GIMME BJ'S NO MO 02/24/2006, 8:32pm PST 
You're right. by Chairman Mao 02/24/2006, 8:53pm PST 
That pile of shit above you isn't "right". by Souffle of Pain 02/24/2006, 9:12pm PST 
This from the man fellating fucking SB by You were his cheerleader 02/25/2006, 5:33pm PST 
Pussy by Souffle of Pain 02/25/2006, 11:09pm PST 
Re: I guess you're talking to Fussbett and INC by Souffle of Pain 02/24/2006, 9:22pm PST 
Re: I guess you're talking to Fussbett and INC by Quentin Beck 02/25/2006, 4:52pm PST 
You've made a real poor showing. It's time for you to go home. NT by motherfuckerfoodeater 02/25/2006, 11:21pm PST 
Re: I guess you're talking to Fussbett and INC by Souffle of Pain 02/25/2006, 11:26pm PST 
Re: I guess you're talking to Fussbett and INC by Quentin Beck 02/27/2006, 12:47am PST 
Re: I guess you're talking to Fussbett and INC by I need clarification 02/27/2006, 1:23am PST 
China and Japan = undeveloped countries by motherfuckerfoodeater 02/27/2006, 5:38pm PST 
Re: China and Japan = undeveloped countries by Ice Cream Jonsey 02/27/2006, 7:55pm PST 
So we can add Souffle to the list with Worm and Bink? Thanks, Ice Cream. NT by Caltrops 02/27/2006, 8:10pm PST 
Damn it! I meant Pinback, not Bink. NT by Caltrops 2K7 03/07/2007, 5:20am PST 
Re: China and Japan = undeveloped countries by motherfuckerfoodeater 02/27/2006, 10:06pm PST 
premature clicking! by motherfuckerfoodeater 02/27/2006, 10:07pm PST 
My guess of a 1995 Mustang fanboy was WAY OFF by Fussbett 02/27/2006, 1:16am PST 
Re: I guess you're talking to Fussbett and INC by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/05/2006, 8:12pm PDT 
apparently Bill Ford asked for help, told the board he couldn't hack it by co2 09/06/2006, 10:26am PDT 
update by Fussbett 03/01/2006, 8:44pm PST 
DOWNdate: Peter Stormare is awesome. by The German Engineer 03/01/2006, 9:10pm PST 
FORD posts record (RECORD) losses for 2006. by Fussbett 01/25/2007, 11:21am PST 
IT'S OK, being successful doesn't matter by Rafiki 01/26/2007, 9:55am PST 
have you lost less than $12.7 billion this year? by Flabby-o 01/25/2007, 5:35pm PST 
fuck, Snoop to short sell Ford stock NT by Flabby-o 01/25/2007, 5:45pm PST 
Alan Mulally definitely smarter than Bill Ford by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 04/05/2007, 9:01pm PDT 
His base salary was $666,667 (Rounded up) Mwahahaha! NT by Mischief Mephistopheles 04/05/2007, 9:25pm PDT 
Ford has a plan (to save the day) by I need clarification 04/18/2007, 2:00am PDT 
The best part is that David Mamet is actually not a good director at all. NT by Jhoh Cable o_O 04/18/2007, 4:14am PDT 
As a director, Mamet could be considered the thinking man's Kevin Smith. NT by Jerry Whorebach 04/18/2007, 1:47pm PDT 
Hey guys, BIGGER trucks! (less jews?) by Bill Ford 05/15/2007, 7:02pm PDT 
|
|