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| b-b-b-but I AM from college! by a crestfallen athodyd 12/08/2005, 11:01pm PST | ||||
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| Which is mostly where I learned that if you know how to use semicolons you get an A for any and all papers you turn in. This is probably why I never got truly weaned off the "paragraphs as lumbering, unstoppable hulks" school of writing. At some point in grade school I was taught that paragraphs should almost always be at least three sentences, and since my sentences run the fuck off into the far horizon resisting and destroying all those who try to restrain them like this one is doing my paragraphs swell up and die.
I was trying to establish some kind of a structure at some point featuring segues and logic and everything but it sort of imploded and had sex with itself (in the butt) somehow. I think I may have blacked out because I'm certain there was some point where the whole thing resembled a good idea. Cliffs notes of the last two reviews: King Kong is good but short. Most of the gimmicks (AI, bait, fire) are either valuable additions to the gameplay or still really fun gimmicks. Why hasn't anyone put a spear in an FPS before? My only gripe, which I thought of only after EGM or somebody predicted it would be in the game: unable to play as one of the fighter planes attacking Kong. THAW is good at its core but surrounded by stuff that's either useless (bicycle missions) or retarded (voice acting and story) or both (I am a shirtless black man with a devilock). Additionally, the really good stuff in the core gameplay has to be unlocked by dealing with the goddamn fucking story. The indisputable goodness of the core skateboard combo mechanic may or may not be enough to compensate for the aggravation/apathy inflicted on you by everything else in the game; I felt that it managed to bring the game up to an above-average level. |
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