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by Fussbett 11/01/2005, 1:27am PST |
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PHONEYou may be aware of the popular Japanese horror movie Ringu which was turned into Ring and later spun off into a computer game called FEAR. Well that's from Japan and it's about a haunted WELL that calls you on the PHONE when you watch a VHS TAPE, or whatever. This movie is totally different because it's Korean, and about a haunted cellphone number. I wanted to make fun of this movie but it's actually pretty good, and criticizing a horror movie for being unoriginal is a good way to never enjoy another horror movie. There is plot to unravel, some illicit underage sex to imagine and a creepy little girl to disturb you, as per the usual Asian way.
ISLAND OF THE DAMNEDThis is the movie you all need to know about. Spanish and from the 1970's, it's nearly impossible to find now. The copy I got is clearly 9th generation and one of those generations was Grecian.
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| "I'm practically a doctor. Biologist... Medical!" |
In spite of the horrible quality I was still able to give this movie my highest rating: very good! The literal title, translated from Spanish is "Who Can Kill a Child?" which is a hint about how the film was banned in both Iceland and Finland, despite the lack of gore.
DELLAMORTE DELLAMORERupert Everett stars in this 1994 spaghetti zombie film, just before he began his short arc of Madonna-fueled next-big-thing/never-happened. Everett plays an existential cemetary engineer who has to re-kill the arising zombies in the enchanted plots of a small Spanish town. That where the movie starts, so if you're not hooked right away, you can just go fuck yourself and watch Mythbusters or whatever it is you people do. By the time it all ends, you'll be plenty confused, but fortunately it's worth a second viewing.
Anna Falchi's big fake breasts play multiple female characters in the movie:
MAYSomeone on this very forum mentioned liking May in passing, and I love Caltrops so much that I remembered that shit, and actually grabbed the movie because of that memory implant. I don't click links for just anybody! So this movie is decent and endeared itself to me early when it introduced an "edgy" loner character who made gorey short films for his film class and "shockingly" decorated his bedroom as he imagine Trent Reznor might. I immediately started sighing and rolling my eyes at this stock "weirdo" character, but May had more in store for me! The movie then revealed that this character was to be mocked by the titular character May who was actually weird and disturbed, thus creeping out the #1 David Fincher fan.
A TALE OF TWO SISTERSAnother Korean movie which turned into a horror in my living room. VLC wouldn't play the subtitles. BSP and Zoom Player would both show subs via VobSub yet both of those players failed to play SOUND! Why am I having sound problems in a program in 2005? It's as if my drivers are haunted by a creepy long haired asian girl! I solved that shit by snapping my keyboard over my knee in frustration. |
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