Lynn Harris wrote:

"When we're younger, it's fine to have one or two all-purpose friends," says Marla Paul, author of The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You're Not a Kid Anymore (Rodale, 2004). "But as adults, when our lives and needs and interests become more complex, we need a diverse group of friends who cover all of our dimensions."

Just as you can't expect your great black loafers to work with a strappy sundress, you can't expect your single friend to discuss at length the ins and outs of diaper rash. "It's unrealistic to expect one friend to offer everything," says Jan Yager, PhD, author of Who's That Sitting at My Desk? Workship, Friendship, or Foe? (Hannacroix Creek, 2004). "You're drawing on the strengths and benefits that each one offers, not trying to mold someone into something she isn't."

Seeing different friendships for what they are can preserve and prolong them, as Eleanor, 38, of Syracuse, New York, discovered. "I have a dear friend who's great about doing things only a close friend will, like helping me move,"

But Eleanor found it frustrating to confide in her pal about her single-woman hardships. "I hated her cool, no-nonsense responses -- she'd basically tell me I just needed to 'get over it.' I would think, 'She has no idea what it's like!' But then it hit me -- her very long-term boyfriend became her husband. She actually does have no idea what it's like!"

The Friend in Your Kid's Class. Your kids are angels, no doubt, but that doesn't mean they have an adult perspective on what's going on in school. "You absolutely need someone to help you check out whether the teacher is really that 'unfair,' the sixth-graders are really dating, or the cliques are really that bad," says Paul. For Nicole, 35, of Charleston, South Carolina, her co-mom keeps her not only informed, but also less isolated. "Almost everyone is all coiffed and perfect, and I'm just talking about the kids -- so you can imagine what the moms are like," she says. "My messy self really doesn't fit in. Thank goodness for Lara, the one other mom like me, and the only one I can hang out with at the science fair."

The Friend Who's Known You Forever. "This friendship is priceless," says Paul, noting that when she recently bumped into an old crush at the mall, there was only one friend she could call to giggle about it. "She keeps your memories alive by sharing them with you."

"If I met her today we might not be friends" (important clue -FAB) -- that's one thing I love most. She's so unlike all the friends I've made more recently," says New Yorker, Melissa, 29, of her dear childhood pal. "Other people can learn all our buzzwords and inside jokes, but she and I invented them!"

Friends you grew up with aren't just fun throwbacks; some can serve as sister stand-ins. "As a single only child with few cousins, I wonder sometimes who'll lend a hand when my parents start to need more help," says Corinne, 35, of Lexington, Massachusetts. "But I also know that my friend Lucy, who's been around since I was 2, will always be there for things like that."

The Hobby Buddy. You summon this friend when you want to catch a movie or concert, if you want to enroll in a history class or take a horseback ride. She may be the gal with whom you share a love of art and museums, or your common interest may be river-rafting or crocheting.

The Straight-Talking Friend. You know when you're clear that you need to break up with someone...but just can't quite bite the bullet? Talk to this friend. "We all need someone who's honest, gets to the heart of the problem, and doesn't sugar-coat," says Marla Paul. She also won't tell you the swimsuit looks good when it doesn't, or that it's okay with her that you haven't called.

"My roommate, God love her, shovels me full of truth and never lets up," says Rebecca, 24, of Raleigh, North Carolina. "If it's something she thinks I don't want to hear, she'll just stay quiet -- and then I know what she's saying anyway. Damn!" That's the key with this friend, says Florence Isaacs, author of Toxic Friends/True Friends (Citadel, 2003): "Talk to her about what's on your mind only when you want to hear it."

The Feel-Good Friend. "We all need a cheerleader!" says Isaacs. But the feel-good friend may cheer for you even without being all smiles and pom-poms. "My spirits are lifted the moment I hear my friend Rachel's voice," says Paula, 36, of New York City. "She never belittles, or tries to make things about her, or says one of those dopey things like, 'You'll get over it, what you need is a fill-in-the-blank!' She really knows how much better people feel when someone just listens."

1. Create a strategy. You can't make friends just by being friendly. Seek out running partners, knitting classes, mystery book clubs. (Helpful: check out social networking sites like Friendster.com and MeetUp.com.) If finding the time seems difficult, carve out one lunch or evening every three weeks as "Catch Up with Susan Day" or "New Friends Night" -- whatever seems doable is better than nothing at all.

2. Be proactive. You don't have to announce "I'd like to be your friend," but you do need what Paul calls "repeat exposure." Pour a little social cement by seeking out certain people more than once; extend casual invitations when you can.

3. Sort your supply. "Prioritize your friendships," says Isaacs. You don't have to officially "break up" with any friends you don't feel the need to see constantly; just make sure they're not siphoning too much time away from all the newer, or deeper, friendships that are worth the extra effort to nurture.