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| CGW Gives Dungeon Lords Zero Stars. by Bill Dungsroman 08/10/2005, 10:44pm PDT | ||||
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| Oops! I guess RPGs are dead, after all. DL, for the uninitiated, is an action RPG created by DW Bradley, Lead Designer on a bunch of Wizardy sequels. So, at the very least, a quasi-pedigree exists. The actual game box, which I've fondled a few times and wondered if the price would spontaneously go down another 10 bucks, and then I'd probably cave and buy it, is full of exciting quotes that evidently all came from preview write-ups. A lot of them drop Bradley's name and a belief is held that the game ought to have a nice storyline as a result of his influence, instead of whatever the stupid plot is of Dungeon Siege 2 is, or the like.
The review doesn't mention much about the story specifically, but it does say that the game world is "empty, drab and hackneyed." Well, that settles that, then. What else? Here are my favorites: -The in-game map is missing, even though its existence is in the docs. -During character creation, many of the appearance options for your character are non-functional. -Quest items vanish from your inventory, never to return, stalling out the respective quests. -Dialogue trees are unforgiving. Say the the wrong thing, you'll lose the option to begin/continue/finish a quest. Even the main one! -Doors, exit portals, keys, NPC pathfinding, shortcut keymapping: all broken. -Duplicate treasure items will auto-delete. Christ, is that one awesome. -In co-op, you cannot disable friendly fire. You also cannot target anything to hit, you just fucking swing and hope you hit a bad guy and not your pal standing next to you. What the fuck kind of game doesn't have a targeting feature? -If you cast spells during a battle, your ability to revert to melee is disabled for no reason. Thus, DL joins Postal 2 and Mistmare in the CGW Zero Star Winner's Circle. |
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