Caltrops - The Zionist Media Conspiracy

Forum Overview :: The Zionist Media Conspiracy

by Mischief Maker 08/17/2003, 12:40pm PDT

This movie makes the same mistake Godzilla 2000 made by focusing way too much time on the puny victims freaking out over the destruction being caused and not enough time on the battling monsters. This is made worse by the fact that the "scream" effect is in overdrive this film so characters aren't defined beyond "did they have sex or not?" making them even more boring and unlikable. Rest assured one of the screenwriters has a briefcase of magic cards back home because the film has the stupid idea that "fire" is Freddy's weakness while "water" is Jason's.

Unkillable retard Jason comes across as the more likable of the pair while wacky Freddy makes audience members cringe at the memory of once finding this wisecracking schmuck scary. Not only does the movie wuss out by not declaring either the clear winner, but the death blow is actually delivered by the balloon-titted virgin (oh wait, that's a spoiler. Sorry.) Jason X was a smarter and funnier deconstruction of slasher flicks.

While watching this movie, there was a skinny computer geek drunk off his ass screaming nasal commentary at the screen (along the lines of "holy shit! He stabbed her!") the whole way through, yet no one bothered telling him to shut up. Take that as you will.