Caltrops - Reviews - Call of Duty: United Offensive - the most Fabio-giving-uppest game ever.

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by Creexul :( 09/16/2004, 6:32pm PDT

The last American mission shoves you into a house and throws literally hundreds of enemies at you, and requires you to fend off many of them, along with half a dozen tanks and a couple half tracks, while everyone in the house screams about Germans coming in and tanks approaching. The maps are gigantic and expansive, you get at least double the friendly AI dudes as compared to the original COD, who actually will shoot enemies, although sometimes you catch them standing right next to each other and not using the split second YOU would use to blast them into the next afterhell (which happens to be made entirely of smithereens). But that's at close range. At long range, your friendlies are much better. Anyway, that's just the last quarter of the one mission, too. There are like 4 before that, as well.

Anyway, the point is that since this is the expansion, it won't nursemaid you, and it won't go easy on you. Like Far Cry's difficulty, it's challanging, but fair. But I can imagine Fabs getting to the end of that one mission, and trying to flip his keyboard in a fury upwards at his monitor, missing, and having to try to reflip it, then he throws his mouse against the wall and pushes his speakers over and runs away and buries his face in a pillow (and bites it). Which, as we all know, is a good thing for the rest of us.