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| Re: Say a Word by The Professor Is In. 06/22/2003, 5:09pm PDT | ||||
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| The general critical rule for narrative is that you're supposed to show and not tell. This "story" (?) consists of all telling and not showing. Is it supposed to be an experiment?
There are bits that could be blown up into a regular story, but this is like a blueprint for a story. We have directions in which we could create our own story, but there's no sense of time, place or character. How about, you know, dialogue? It would be nice to learn the things you describe about Melinda from her, instead of from you. The crying could have a nice Donnie Darko-esque effect, if they were "storified." The toaster could be out of a beatnik novel, again, if it were storified. More storification! |
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Say a Word by 06/18/2003, 4:26am PDT  In case it isn't obvious, I would appreciate some critique... NT by 06/22/2003, 3:17am PDT paragraphs NT by 06/22/2003, 12:37pm PDT critique #1: I'll read it when paragraphs are indicated. by 06/22/2003, 12:37pm PDT Critique: It is an imposing wall of text which I did not read NT by 06/22/2003, 3:56pm PDT Re: Say a Word by 06/22/2003, 5:09pm PDT paragraphs by 06/25/2003, 11:29am PDT |
