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| comments by FABIO 05/11/2003, 3:14am PDT | ||||
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Even though you've already submitted the final draft. Couldn't find the orignal on this computer. If you feel like waiting one week I can get it off the one at home.
-Other than deliver 2 lines of dialouge during the "Death Star Commander Meeting" and killing Obi-Wan, Darth Vader doesn't do or say anything in the movie. I don't get this one. Also, shouldn't "meeting" be outside of the quotes? You left out "Rather than force-choke the Admiral who mocks the force, Darth Vader now pouts and whines instead." I liked that one. Also left out "None of the violence on board the Death Star is directed at stormtroopers. Luke and his friends will get into gun battles with the little chattering black shoebox droids instead." I think it would be funnier if R2 was holding off AT-AT's rather than storm troopers, even though they didn't appear in Episode 6. The one about the field of heaters originally read "Just so the sexual tension between Han and Leia doesn't come as a surprise in The Empire Strikes Back, a new scene will be added with them rolling arm in arm through a field of heathers while Leia wears a thong bikini with the two words "DO" and "ME" written across the top." I thought that was more to the point. The original ships post read- "In the final battle scene, dozens of ships will be flashed onscreen for a brief second, including the rebel tentacle squid cruiser, the imperial hive pod ship that breaks off into hundreds of drones when shot, and Darth Vader's hyper-X mega starfighter that transforms into a samurai robot. After the movie is over, you'll be damned if you can remember half of them" The original final change read- "And finally, the biggest change of them all. Instead of the Death Star trench run, the entire scene will be replaced with Luke sitting at the controls of an X-wing in the rebel hangar saying "Gee golly these controls sure look different then anything I'm used to. I wonder how it works?". The camera will then move into a closeup of Luke's bloodstream with hundreds of computer animated metachlorins swimming around with big cartoon eyes. The metachlorins begin moving with a purpose and the camera zooms out to show Luke bumping his hand against the torpedo launch button. The torpedo shoots out the open hanger doors, up through the atmosphere and out into space, wheels around the planet, and slams straight into the death star's exhaust port causing it to explode. Biggs looks at luke and says "Luke, do you realize what you just did?". Luke looks confused for a few seconds before shouting out "yahoo!". A metachlorin is then shown winking at the camera. " I think any internet geek reading this will remember what metachlorin are. My changes weren't good enough for you were they buster? - In order to raise money to pay Han for a lift off Tatooine, Luke can no longer just sell his speeder. Instead, him and Obi-Wan take the first pre-schooler they can find off the street and enter him in a lethal alien kickboxing tournament. Naturally the kid finishes first and the nobel Jedi pocket his prize money. - To boost video game sales, several scenes will be added with Luke and Han jumping on turtles and collecting mushrooms. I thought a better Peter Jackson jab would be "Taking a cue from Elijah Wood in Lord of the Rings, Lucas will have Mark Hamill digitally shrunk until he resembles the ideal age for the hero of a grand science fiction epic, five." |
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