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| Quiet of the Suburbs??? by Shadowy Consumer 04/14/2003, 11:34am PDT | ||||
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mrs. johnson wrote: Dude, I spent 4 years living in a suburb and another 4 summers working in various suburbs. You ever try sitting back in a lawn chair with a glass of lemonade in your hands beneath a nearly cloudless sky taking a deep breath and letting the relaxation soak into you, this is what you'll hear: BRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUBBBBBBBRUUUUUUUBBBBB: Obese neighbor riding around his 100 square yard lawn on his riding lawn mower with a can of "Slim Fast" in his hand. BRRREEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRHHH BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!: neighbor holding a leaf blower at waist level with a quiet smirk on his face as he revels in the sight of tiny leaves being thrown in every direction by the sheer power of the oversized tool in his hands. BRRRAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKK! BBBBBBRRRRRAAAAAKKKKK!!!: another neighbor who decided they need to savage their hedges into the perfect shape with the ancient art of bonsai via power tools. BRRRROOOOM!!! BROOOOOOOM!!! Either some incredibly bored teenager who removed the muffler from the car his parents bought him in order to sound more "badass" or Mr. Midlife Crisis, balding and squeezed into ill-fitting leather, astride a luxury model Harley with his wizened crone of a wife straddling him from behind. And does this ever let up? NO! Everyone who lives in suburbs must be leading the perfect life and the perfect life demands the perfect lawn! Everyone runs around like Martha Stewart/IKEA Boy clones on speed trying desperately to remove any and all blemishes from the perfect life they're up to their asscheeks in debt to support. Is it any wonder these people freak out when someone suggests they alter their lifestyle in the slightest by, say, switching from SUVs to more fuel-efficient cars? NO NO! THAT'S AGAINST THE AMERICAN WAY!!! I'M GETTING A HUMMER! THEN I'LL BE ABLE TO DRIVE ANYWHERE AND WITH THESE LIMITS GONE I WILL ACHIEVE PERFECTION! PERFECTION!!!! Only on 50s sitcoms are the suburbs relaxing. |
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I'm back with more depressing bullshit by 04/14/2003, 1:51am PDT  Quiet of the Suburbs??? by 04/14/2003, 11:34am PDT The suburb I live in is pretty quiet. I walk around at 4 am and not a soul. NT by 04/14/2003, 7:27pm PDT I can do it too. by 04/14/2003, 12:38pm PDT A little shakey in parts by 04/14/2003, 4:04pm PDT Re: A little shakey in parts by 04/14/2003, 7:59pm PDT |
