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by Kirahu Nagasawa 02/03/2021, 6:01am PST |
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This journey began some 27 years ago. Amazon was only an idea, and it had no name. The question I was asked most frequently at that time was, “What’s the internet?” Blessedly, I haven’t had to explain that in a long while.
Biggest question asked these days is, "What's the best bottle to piss in during work?"
We pioneered customer reviews, 1-Click, personalized recommendations, Prime’s insanely-fast shipping, Just Walk Out shopping, the Climate Pledge, Kindle, Alexa, marketplace, infrastructure cloud computing, Career Choice, and much more.
"Much more" includes the Gatorade Zero bottle that warehouse employees are allowed to carry to urinate in during a 10 hour shift with no realistic breaks so they don't get fired.
As Amazon became large, we decided to use our scale and scope to lead on important social issues. Two high-impact examples: our $15 minimum wage and the Climate Pledge. In both cases, we staked out leadership positions and then asked others to come along with us.
He almost forgot a third initiative that he personally staked out a leadership position with, which is the normalization of carrying a bottle around at work to spray piss intp.
Keep inventing, and don’t despair when at first the idea looks crazy. Remember to wander. Let curiosity be your compass. It remains Day 1.
Remember to wander, unless your time off task scores are too low, in which case you had better piss and shit into bottles that you bring into work or you will be fired. |
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Looks like Ol' Pissjugs is stepping down as CEO by Kirahu Nagasawa 02/03/2021, 6:01am PST 
Don't take any shit NT by leave it for the next shift to deal 02/05/2021, 2:12pm PST
Re: Don't take any shit by MM 02/06/2021, 7:05am PST
The Amazonnews twitter account is trying to stop the pissjug by Mysterio 03/25/2021, 9:30pm PDT
It's true, look at this absolute failure of a cunt. by Kirahu Nagasawa 03/27/2021, 9:21am PDT
It's like listening to the AI bots in Unreal Tournament the way bitch gets by thrown around on here. 03/27/2021, 10:23am PDT
Oh shut the fuck up. NT by Judge Barry 03/27/2021, 11:29am PDT
You wouldn't last five minutes with me in Unreal Tournament, bub. NT by Droz 03/27/2021, 11:47am PDT
Ok, ok. Fine. NT by Kirahu Nagasawa 03/27/2021, 11:59am PDT
I too am nostalgic for "bitch" by Vested Id 03/27/2021, 12:21pm PDT
Dave Clark runs the @amazonnews account, not some dumb intern NT by E. L. Koba 03/27/2021, 1:46pm PDT
We appreciate you giving us the name of the piece of shit. NT by Holy fuck imagine working for him 03/27/2021, 2:36pm PDT
Liz calling this shitboy out for his "snotty tweets" is great NT by lolololo 03/28/2021, 12:11pm PDT
I guess Alabamans like shitting in bags. :( NT by MM 04/09/2021, 12:48pm PDT
The cunt at @amazonnews made sure to crow about it by Mysterio 04/09/2021, 7:07pm PDT
Hope springs eternal? by MM 04/09/2021, 9:19pm PDT
Most of the warehouse voters were black. Are you saying there's a connection? NT by IPB 04/10/2021, 4:12pm PDT
Dang. You got me. NT by Mischief Maker 04/10/2021, 4:14pm PDT
Play Accidental Racist on loop until you absorb its lessons NT by IPB 04/10/2021, 8:37pm PDT
I'm totally gonna follow your advice because you're really smart AND perceptive! NT by Mischief Maker 04/11/2021, 12:41pm PDT
MischiefMaker: noooo you can't just vote against your economic interests!!! NT by Alabama: union influence goes FART 04/11/2021, 8:20am PDT
Amazon fucking with traffic lights is a real thing they did. Now you must defend by it. 04/11/2021, 10:08am PDT
I'm not defending Amazon, I'm making fun of MischiefMaker NT by Fag. 04/11/2021, 11:46am PDT
You're just defeating me left and right, dude! Is it everything you hoped for? NT by Mischief Maker 04/11/2021, 12:40pm PDT
Me??? Shouldn't you be plotting to set off a bomb in that Amazon facility to by own the cons? 04/11/2021, 1:22pm PDT
These "own the cons" posts say much more about you than they do about me. NT by Mischief pwner 04/11/2021, 1:38pm PDT
Right, so a coward. NT by it. 04/11/2021, 5:46pm PDT
Bootlicking coward NT by BTW 05/14/2021, 9:47pm PDT
Biggest pussy in site history btw NT by NA 12/11/2021, 11:22pm PST
I wish they'd fuck with more of them so I get 1 day shipping NT by IPB 04/24/2021, 9:35am PDT
Real wages go UP with the abolition of unions! NT by This is what bleachers believe 04/12/2021, 12:37pm PDT
Dave Clark seems like the kind of guy that would personally drown by Ichabod 04/12/2021, 1:41pm PDT
EXTRAORDINAY AND REVEALING!!!! I GOT HERE ON MERIT~ NT by Mysterio 04/12/2021, 1:43pm PDT
How did John Deere do with a union? by JPG Man 11/18/2021, 10:54am PST
Ok but by Ice Cream Jonsey 10/19/2021, 5:41am PDT
Looks like Ol' "Extraordinary and Revealing!!" got people killed last night by Geryk 12/11/2021, 8:05pm PST
the workers need to take some of the responsibility for being dummies. by Jerry Whorebach 12/11/2021, 11:44pm PST
If even a single Amazon customer had ordered jetpack that day lives NT by Would be saved. We must look inward 12/12/2021, 7:09am PST
Dave Clark should be in prison but fuck that NT by was funny 05/31/2023, 10:08pm PDT
Psychopath by Geryk 12/13/2021, 4:56am PST
Didja hear of that new band called the Dave Clark Six? by Ice Cream Jonsey 12/13/2021, 5:49am PST
Re: Psychopath by E. L. Koba 12/13/2021, 4:46pm PST
Similarly: NT by "our democracy" 12/13/2021, 4:58pm PST
That psychopath literally said thoughts and prayers by Horus Truthteller 06/29/2022, 1:56pm PDT
Re: Looks like Ol' "Extraordinary and Revealing!!" got people killed last night by Geryk 09/06/2023, 6:36pm PDT
Wrongful death suit by EXTRAORDINARY AND REVEALING 01/17/2022, 6:12pm PST
I'm back (miss me?) and laughing at Pissjugs, Jr by Kirahu Nagasawa 01/30/2023, 2:33pm PST
No. We didn't. NT by ugh 01/30/2023, 4:32pm PST
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