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Nine Parchments... bleeeeh. by Mischief Maker 12/06/2017, 6:22pm PST
It's a new twin stick shooter by the makers of Trine 2, quite possibly THE most beautiful fantasy game ever created, even if its gameplay was so-so. Coincidentally I was replaying Trine 2 this month because I needed something bright and whimsical to take my mind off the political shitshow, then I this game came out and you can imagine my excitement.

Like I indicated before, bleeeeeh. It's everything awful about euroshmups. Slow movement speed, bulletsponge enemies, weak peashooter attacks with a recharging clip mechanic that can't even take an enemy down in one clip, elemental affinity system where every enemy is immune to one type of weapon.

But the most damning thing is despite running on a better engine, this game is not as pretty as Trine 2! It's very pretty, but since it's an isometric overhead shooter instead of a 2D platformer you're looking at dirt and cobblestones the whole game instead of Trine 2's often breathtaking vistas.
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Nine Parchments... bleeeeh. by Mischief Maker 12/06/2017, 6:22pm PST NEW
 
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