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If No Man's Sky is the Phantom Menace of gaming, Strafe is Kung Fury... by Mischief Maker 05/21/2017, 5:35am PDT ...full of mean-spirited references to the weaknesses of 90s tech, but completely missing out on the gameplay that made these games so compelling in the first place. Strike 1 against this game is artificial bullet scatter slowly mitigated by picking up accuracy upgrades over the course of the game. By world 4-1 you might become as accurate as Quakeguy was on stage 1! Strike 2 is a universal ammo system coupled with throwing out all remaining bullets in a half-full clip when you reload. So if you try to shoot a grenade without the requisite 16 bullets out of your base 25 bullet clip, you instead reload and throw out the remaining 15. Strike 3 is Risk of Rain-style game-changer permanent upgrades like rechargeable shields or triple-shot. My success or failure hinged more on which upgrades I got than my actual skill. Strike 4 is boring enemies. Run straight at you or shoot from a distance. In world 3-1 they shake things up with an enemy who shoots THREE shots in a spread! Woooah! Strike 5 is generic-looking levels with the same wall texture everywhere and a minimap that's completely useless. I was constantly tripping over the corpses of dead enemies hopelessly lost while trying to find the exit. Strike 6, you'd think with the intentionally shitty low-poly graphics the game would run like a dream, right? Well fuck you this is running in the Unity engine so get ready for constant slowdown and high GPU temperatures! Strike 7 is the buggy map generator. I constantly see enemies drop through the scenery. Then last night I stumbled upon a winning combo of upgrades, got further than I ever got before, and just when I was going to win the game I fell through the floor and was stuck. And no, this was not the intentional "fall through the floor and land in a glitched out shop" intentional easter egg, this was a real game-ending bug. Ziggurat, for all its shortcomings, is a superior game in every respect. Every respect.

Strafe is a massive disappointment. NT by Mischief Maker 05/09/2017, 4:17pm PDT     Maybe I spoke too soon. by Mischief Maker 05/09/2017, 9:54pm PDT         Lemme just go check Steam and by Ice Cream Jonsey 05/09/2017, 11:28pm PDT             If No Man's Sky is the Phantom Menace of gaming, Strafe is Kung Fury... by Mischief Maker 05/21/2017, 5:35am PDT