Forum Overview :: We Love Katamari
 
Sure, in the sense that you 'can' play b-ball with Dr J. by Injustice 11/03/2016, 10:21pm PDT
See, you're over here, setting up hypothetical three-pointers with the imaginary basketball that only you can see. Meanwhile the real ball is getting dunked repeatedly on my behalf by the cold ghostly hand of the sixth man that is reality.

blackwater wrote:

SimCity is actually a radical leftism simulator. All of the initiative in the game comes from the player, who simulates the Great Helmsman or Soviet Premier, making his 5-year plans. Private industry never builds anything, never asks for anything, except for what the player has explcitily enabled. All power plants, roads, power lines, trains, busses, etc. are owned by the government and controlled by the Premier. They can be demolished instantly if needed.

As the game simulates a world in which the proletariat has seized the means of production, there is no need for individual capitalists any more. Instead, the state provides for all-- to each according to his need, from each according to his ability. A panel of trusted advisors (the politburo) advises the supreme executive in his difficult role as servant of the People. The people have transcended religion, the old opiate of the people, and arrived at the final destiation of a workers paradise carefully managed according to the scientific principles of dialectical materialism.

Needless to say, construction of government projects is instantaneous. Nor are there cost overruns or complications in building things such as power plants.

See what I did there? Do you feel more informed after reading that? Or did I just jerk off for a few paragraphs and try to manipulate your emotions with content-free spew?


Our high-level interpretations of SimCity's simulation model are dueling like the ostriches in Joust! At this point two things need to happen to produce an interesting article: first, we need to look more closely at the sprites in Joust, to see whether it's the ostriches fighting and the little men trying like Jewish husbands to hold them back, or whether it's the little men fighting while the ostriches do a "morning Sam"/"morning Ralph" routine under their butts. Then we need to obtain the source code to SimCity - possibly by posing as an educational institution, the my name first your name last school of schooling your name's ignorant ass - and dig in like ostriches trying to fucking kill each other. But as long as we're only dealing in Washington Generalities, instead of examining how the actual rules function in actual play, our all-star games complaining's as worthless as you accuse that Dick Vitale's Awesome BTW article of being.

Simcity's tax simulation is dumb because Simcity was a game written on the Apple ][ years ago. And when more powerful machines arrived, Maxis discovered that more accurate simulations were not more fun, which the goal of games (remember?) It's not a vast political plot to convert you to Ayn Rand's way of thinking. And people realize this. When Herman Cain proposed his flat tax rate, it was mocked as "the SimCity tax plan." People understand that this shit is not real. They don't need the Offenderati to tell them that stealing cars is bad EVEN THOUGH GTA is all about stealing cars.


Why are you talking about games criticism like it's a witch hunt? Is it because of that time Caltrops called for the Mass Effect developers to be rounded up and drowned in sacks, for their shitty Harvest Moon on the moon relationship mechanics and dialogue lifted wholesale from Stargate Universe fan fiction? Because these days, that's really more of an unwanted kitten or Chinese girlchild thing than a witch thing, and we were only being half-serious anyway. If you feel like your pet games developer is getting bullied, maybe try defending his or her or whatever kind of inbetween thing you're white knighting for this time's game on its own merits, instead of dismissing legitimate bitching as some kind of ploy by your ideological enemies (me, twitter's Caelyn S, the prestigious Rock Paper Scissors blog, etc).

A full discussion by an economist of why Simcity's tax code and economic model are inaccurate would be extremely boring to most people. Even a partial discussion that just touched on the high points would probably make most people close the tab pretty quickly. The solution isn't to write some clickbait piece about how it's all a vast Libertarian/Republican/Democrat/Reptilian conspiracy, but to keep your mouth shut about things you don't understand or care about. If you don't care about economic modelling, don't write about it. And there will be less uninformed garbage on the tubes.

Same thing here. Some guy wrote a stupid model of how his virtual Sims interact. I don't need a games journalist to tell me that dumb models of people as simple finite state machines are dumb. But is it fun? Does it fit with the mood of the game? That is what a games journalist should be writing about (assuming you believe games journalism should even exist any more.)


I realize I'm talking to a guy whose definition of folksy is calling the internet "the tubes", which is amusing to him because it's really made of cables running INSIDE tubes. So I'm just going to gloss over the part where you suggest that writing about video games is something you have to believe in, like fucking Tinkerbell, and now it's maybe going to disappear because you're over your mom's death and don't feel like you need it anymore. Instead I'm going to remind you the whole point of the article was the author didn't like the way this particular subsystem functioned, she didn't think it was fun, and she was willing to pull it apart in excruciating detail for the benefit of anyone who cared to read. That sort of criticism is infinitely more valuable than whatever Infinite Warfare screenshot blowout or long overdue Grim Fandango retrospective you think should've got blasted down the tubes in its place. Anyone who believes this article is worse, and not MUCH BETTER, than every single other piece of games writing not about Cryptozookeeper on Rock Paper Scissors is an idiot.
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"Numbers are down! Cook up another social justice article!" by RPS Headquarters 03/27/2014, 1:07pm PDT NEW
    Link your shit, dickhead by Souffle of Pain 03/27/2014, 2:04pm PDT NEW
        I'm not going to read the article because life is too short. by Jerry Whorebach 03/27/2014, 2:55pm PDT NEW
            Especially when they're menopausal at 35 by skip 03/27/2014, 6:29pm PDT NEW
        Certainly not Bioshock Infinite by fabio 03/27/2014, 10:34pm PDT NEW
            That is a good example by Souffle of Pain 03/28/2014, 7:43am PDT NEW
                An edit by Souffle of Pain 03/28/2014, 7:46am PDT NEW
                I can't go two minutes without hearing racially intolerant language over mp by Kenji Carter 03/28/2014, 8:42am PDT NEW
                    Well gamers are shitheads, that's not really the topic. by Worm 03/28/2014, 8:52am PDT NEW
                Django is historical fiction. Forums usually aren't. by Last 03/28/2014, 9:11am PDT NEW
                    Forums are awful, sure by Souffle of Pain 03/28/2014, 10:09am PDT NEW
                    I miss Last. NT by Mysterio 06/07/2016, 10:53pm PDT NEW
                Wasn't the latest Assassin's Creed DLC Django Unchained: The Game? by Rafiki 03/28/2014, 9:49am PDT NEW
                    Re: Wasn't the latest Assassin's Creed DLC Django Unchained: The Game? by Souffle of Pain 03/28/2014, 11:08am PDT NEW
                I'm going to steal some of this for the BS:I review by fabio 03/28/2014, 10:49am PDT NEW
                    It's funny because it's not really about racism by fabio 03/28/2014, 11:00am PDT NEW
                        How long do I have to play this shitpile until Elizabeth pisses herself? NT by Worm 03/28/2014, 11:45am PDT NEW
                            Almost until the very end by fabio 03/28/2014, 2:00pm PDT NEW
                Wait, he was complaining about DEPICTIONS of racism? by Jerry Whorebach 03/28/2014, 12:10pm PDT NEW
                    Re: Wait, he was complaining about DEPICTIONS of racism? by Souffle of Pain 03/28/2014, 1:35pm PDT NEW
                        It's metadiscussion. by Gutsby 03/28/2014, 1:49pm PDT NEW
                        I guess to continue my metaphor how many Danica Patricks does it take? by Worm 03/28/2014, 3:44pm PDT NEW
                        Japanese protagonists by skip 03/28/2014, 9:28pm PDT NEW
    Anger-farming hit piece on Rimworld this time out by Mysterio Lollerson 11/02/2016, 4:36pm PDT NEW
        Would you be this outraged if it was a deep dive into SimCity's tax code? by Or are taxes not 'your' issue? 11/02/2016, 7:00pm PDT NEW
            Re: Would you be this outraged if it was a deep dive into SimCity's tax code? by Mysterio Lollerson 11/02/2016, 7:29pm PDT NEW
                They don't buy games. They "don't buy" games. by Kenny Mayne 11/02/2016, 7:32pm PDT NEW
                I'm not outraged. BUT I'M NOT GOING TO LET GO. Ohhhh but he or she sees an oppor by Steven Tyler? 11/02/2016, 8:39pm PDT NEW
                    Oh. Well, I really wanted to get to the bad tweeting portion of the evening. NT by Mysterio Lollerson 11/02/2016, 8:49pm PDT NEW
                    I can't tell if people here are doing a bit. Is this guy doing a bit? NT by pinback 11/02/2016, 8:58pm PDT NEW
            Re: Would you be this outraged if it was a deep dive into SimCity's tax code? by LITERALLY FLABBERGASTED 11/02/2016, 7:46pm PDT NEW
            The criticism is basically political by blackwater 11/02/2016, 9:21pm PDT NEW
                I thought you were going to say criticism of the article was political. :( by Injustice 11/02/2016, 10:38pm PDT NEW
                    Re: I thought you were going to say criticism of the article was political. :( by LITERALLY FLABBERGASTED 11/02/2016, 11:01pm PDT NEW
                    Hey, I can play this game too! by blackwater 11/03/2016, 2:49pm PDT NEW
                        NGJ apparatus is largely interested by in [semi-erudite] sophistry 11/03/2016, 9:32pm PDT NEW
                            I got a tweet during the gamergate thing of a guy citing his mom's approval by Worm 11/03/2016, 10:22pm PDT NEW
                        Sure, in the sense that you 'can' play b-ball with Dr J. by Injustice 11/03/2016, 10:21pm PDT NEW
                            legitimate bitching! by Why, Jerry? 11/03/2016, 11:26pm PDT NEW
                                When I was younger, I thought the only reason to join an online community by was to destroy it from the inside. 11/04/2016, 1:04am PDT NEW
                            Re: Sure, in the sense that you 'can' play b-ball with Dr J. by John Gulp 11/04/2016, 10:51am PDT NEW
                                Are you trying to "win" the argument? NT by Barry Simslayer 11/04/2016, 1:38pm PDT NEW
                                I hope you know you're tying my hands with that respect clause. by Injustice 11/04/2016, 6:58pm PDT NEW
                                    Re: I hope you know you're tying my hands with that respect clause. by Mysterio Lollerson 11/04/2016, 11:01pm PDT NEW
                            Re: Sure, in the sense that you 'can' play b-ball with Dr J. by blackwater 11/05/2016, 10:01pm PDT NEW
                                Hahaha, okay, that's pretty good. by Injustice 11/05/2016, 11:06pm PDT NEW
                                    I mean wasn't a combination of the article and comments? by Worm 11/06/2016, 10:19am PST NEW
                                        Re: I mean wasn't a combination of the article and comments? by Mysterio Lollerson 11/06/2016, 12:02pm PST NEW
                                            Well, this was a decent response to that awful thing you posted. by Drumpf Comedy Heights 11/06/2016, 12:16pm PST NEW
                                            The disability thing blows my mind. by Worm 11/06/2016, 12:45pm PST NEW
                                                Re: The disability thing blows my mind. by Hi Fortinbras by the way 11/06/2016, 1:27pm PST NEW
                                            I feel like you and I are talking about different articles. by Injustice 11/06/2016, 5:20pm PST NEW
                                                Core samples from those paragraphs test positive for 888 by Clearly not a golfer 11/06/2016, 5:56pm PST NEW
                                                    For most of that I was channeling JK Simmons in The Ladykillers. by Injustice 11/06/2016, 7:16pm PST NEW
                                                Re: I feel like you and I are talking about different articles. by Mysterio Lollerson 11/06/2016, 8:35pm PST NEW
                                                    Poor people can't afford delivery pizza, they eat store brand Delissio. by A real fan would know that. 11/06/2016, 11:08pm PST NEW
                                                        Worm, give your brother Delissio by Ryan Paul 11/06/2016, 11:39pm PST NEW
                                                        Re: Poor people can't afford delivery pizza, they eat store brand Delissio. by Mysterio Lollerson 11/07/2016, 7:54am PST NEW
                                                            The supermarket! Poor people have a supermarket, it's called the dollar store. by A real fan would know that. 11/07/2016, 9:39am PST NEW
                                                                (spits to the side, shakes fist at screen) NT by Mysterio Lollerson 11/07/2016, 10:14am PST NEW
                                                                    One more thing by Mysterio Lollerson 11/10/2016, 11:36am PST NEW
                                                                        http://neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1187123&page=372 NT by Cheap pillows are an inside joke. 11/10/2016, 6:33pm PST NEW
                                                        Quick question by Worm 11/07/2016, 8:16am PST NEW
                                                Re: I feel like you and I are talking about different articles. by Glenn from Habbo 11/06/2016, 8:45pm PST NEW
                                                Thanks for not putting this under one of my posts. by Worm 11/06/2016, 8:50pm PST NEW
                                                    What about worse than a literary Hitler? by or aliteration Hitler 11/06/2016, 9:50pm PST NEW
                                                    Re: Thanks for not putting this under one of my posts. by John Gulp 11/06/2016, 10:39pm PST NEW
                                    I found out about Super Blood Hockey from RPS. That was nice. by Ice Cream Jonsey 11/06/2016, 12:38pm PST NEW
            They loved Dragon Age 2 and everyone was bi but everyone isn't bi in real life. by Worm 11/02/2016, 10:48pm PDT NEW
                You made the comment I wanted to by skip 11/03/2016, 7:16am PDT NEW
 
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