Forum Overview :: Resident Evil 7

I feel like there's mileage left in why he's named Ethan. by Dream Cast 10/29/2016, 12:50am PDT This is Ethan Thomas, the conflicted Catholic prosecutor from The Exorcism of Emily Rose. He can be identified as an Ethan by his straight-shooter haircut and sad, soulful eyes. What an abandoned church is to homeless people, he is to oogie-boogies. Satan and his minions just can't wait to get inside his fragile psyche and film a Schlitz commercial. You have never been more pensive in your life than Ethan is every single day. This is Rufus Thomas, the Crown Prince of Dance. He can be identified as a Rufus by his signature short pants and boots that say 'Rufus' on them. Despite what his penchant for capes may lead you to believe, Rufus is no superhero - he's as vulnerable as any funky man alive. But in the field of spiritual warfare, he's what's known as a HARD TARGET. If the demons ever got inside Rufus, causing him to swear like a motherfucker while contorting his body into impossible positions, folks would just ask when he cleaned up his act. If the demons ever took someone close to Rufus, he would slap the devil out of that bitch faster than you can say 'any given Saturday night'. On top of all that, Rufus sounds like a black guy, and everyone knows horror games are for white people. Even Resident Evil 5, a game made by Japanese and set entirely in Africa, still had a fair-haired gym rat on the cover. And a gay one, at that! Someone at Capcom decided audiences would rather play as a cock-craving caucasian in full-blown AIDS panic than as a brother man going home to the motherland. The one time Capcom did make a Rufus, this awesome concept sketch of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in Game of Death - the one you're right now frantically clicking on to select before someone else does - somehow morphed into the fat white lump your eyes glossed over as probably a reflection on the monitor. All because the guy responsible for bad box art Mega Man in Street Fighter vs. Tekken, and pay to win gems in Street Fighter vs. Tekken, and the entire concept of Street Fighter vs. Tekken, felt it would be EVEN MORE insulting to Americans. We may have had it coming.

Resident Evil 7 gets ESRB description by Dream Cast 08/27/2016, 11:47pm PDT     As a fan of shovel-based violence, this seems right up my alley. NT by pinback 08/28/2016, 5:24am PDT     Is this the same game I played on my PS4? For the intro? by Ice Cream Jonsey 09/18/2016, 9:02pm PDT         That's the one, it's called Beginning Hour and just got an update. by Dream Cast 09/19/2016, 4:55am PDT     I feel like there's mileage left in why he's named Ethan. by Dream Cast 10/29/2016, 12:50am PDT