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Forum Overview
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Gamerasutra
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by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 11/26/2015, 12:31am PST |
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I remember getting released from the train at the start and the first thing I see is a couple of riot cops giving me the stink eye. Now, at this point I'm still in the mindset of Gordon Freeman from Forget About Freeman, the human Terminator who single-handedly murdered an entire battalion of recon marines and all of the aliens and all of the aliens' eyeball dogs. So I get up in their fat faces and stand there for like three minutes, pressing every button looking for the one that activates my arms, while these jackbooted faggots swat away with their electric fairy wands to absolutely no effect (because I am bad FOR YOU, understand). Eventually I realize I don't have arms any more, they must have fallen off while I was in hypersleep. So I back up, tilt my viewport towards the deck so my torso is parallel with the ground, damn the torpedoes and charge full speed ahead into their vulnerable stomachs using my famous physicist's braincase as a big hairy fist. The result is I make contact with their collision cylinders and slide impactlessly off to the side. Nice physics, Valve! Then I back away again and let them chase me a bit, staying just out of swatting range while I taunt them for their stupid run cycle that makes it look like they're jogging in place. We don't get very far before they give up and go back to stand at their posts glaring at me with their dumb cow eyes.
My attempts at playful interaction thoroughly stymied, I give up on trying to engage with Half-Life 2 and settle in for a very, very long ride. Highlights: boring reactionless gunplay with stupid enemies and even stupider allies who like to stand in doorframes like it's a fucking earthquake instead of a distopia, awful sewer boat sections that seem to go on forever, hilariously contrived physics puzzles that expect me to be absolutely thrilled with the ability to awkwardly manipulate crates/barrels, and a procession of crude CGI puppets pulling new and innovative faces in rooms locked to prevent escape and childproofed to prevent suicide. I don't think I've ever been less impressed with the collective taste of PC gamers than I was while shawshanking my way through the one endless non-interactive corridor that made up the entire twenty or thirty or however many hours of Half-Life 2. |
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2004 sucked for games, apparently. by Mysterious Stranger 11/24/2015, 11:36am PST 
Half of those were good to great NT by fabio 11/24/2015, 12:35pm PST
Shouldn't it hit more than 50%? NT by Mysterious Stranger 11/24/2015, 12:57pm PST
No, it's idiots clapping for stupid shit by Ice Cream Jonsey 11/24/2015, 1:00pm PST
My amazing opinions: by laudablepuss 11/24/2015, 4:19pm PST
UT 2k4 was not as good as UT by Entropy Stew 11/24/2015, 4:48pm PST
You can make any year look crap, if you only pick games that sold a million. by Dream Cast 11/24/2015, 1:44pm PST
Redditors don't like HL2 because it's old and they're not by Vested Id 11/24/2015, 5:24pm PST
Re: Redditors don't like HL2 because it's old and they're not by laudablepuss 11/25/2015, 7:03pm PST
The only thing Doom 3 did right was the seamless computer interface by Entropy Stew 11/25/2015, 9:34pm PST
You suck. NT by Oom Shnibble 11/25/2015, 11:46pm PST
Doom 3 was horrid by fabio 11/26/2015, 12:30am PST
Monster closets: the pinnacle of game design by Entropy Stew 11/26/2015, 2:17am PST
Re: Monster closets: the pinnacle of game design NT by Oom Shnibble 11/27/2015, 1:10am PST
I can tell you exactly the moment Half-Life 2 lost me. by Commander Tansin A. Darcos 11/26/2015, 12:31am PST
*Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep* by ATOR Detector 11/30/2015, 8:45am PST
HL2 still holds up today. by blackwater 11/27/2015, 3:19am PST
Great year. Something for everyone. by Oom Shnibble 11/24/2015, 9:50pm PST
Re: Great year. Something for everyone. by Ice Cream Jonsey 11/25/2015, 9:39am PST
Re: Great year. Something for everyone. by Oom Shnibble 11/25/2015, 11:27am PST
While I am at it... by Oom Shnibble 11/25/2015, 11:29am PST
Darklands! by Ice Cream Jonsey 11/25/2015, 1:48pm PST
Who else jerked it to the Darklands cover chick back in the day? NT by be honest 11/26/2015, 7:07pm PST
Re: Great year. Something for everyone. by Ice Cream Jonsey 11/25/2015, 1:43pm PST
Marble Madness needs to be in there by Entropy Stew 11/25/2015, 6:03pm PST
KotOR 2 was legendary for being rushed and unfinished NT by fabio 11/25/2015, 4:11pm PST
Re: 2004 sucked for games, apparently. by CattleHumper 11/25/2015, 7:52am PST
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