Caltrops - Star Ruler 2 - A brief history of games with moons.

Forum Overview :: Star Ruler 2

by Ice Cream Jonsey 11/13/2014, 10:45pm PST

Firgof wrote:

And soon -- perhaps -- moon(s)!

Firgof, I invite you to relax and proceed on this journey with me. At the end I will have but one question for you.

A BRIEF HISTORY OF GAMES WITH MOONS

Lunar Lander

Before Japanese people were allowed to design video games, we got offerings like Lunar Lander, which were probably incredibly exciting to melvins that designed algebra puns while being forcibly suspended from their underwear. A great number of people feel that Stanley Kubrick faked this game. The designations of "4x" in the screenshot mean that you got four times as many points if you landed there, but your options would seem to either be instant death or 4x the points. I think. I don't know. As a game designer yourself that also works in 4x, I think you can appreciate normal people not having the faintest clue of a game's ruleset.

Moon Patrol

Recent analysis of over 30 years of Moon Patrol logs from arcade operators indicate that the average player will fire his weapons over 127 times per minute while on patrol during the game, which is still at a lower rate than the average cop similarly on patrol in Ferguson.

Doom

A lot of people think that the first Doom took place on Earth because the graphics at the time couldn't represent the sterile, cold, black and white of the moon of Phobos. Take the image I posted here. That's nicer than where I live now. That property would go for about $625,000 in downtown Denver. Sure, some of that is because the market is seriously out of control and when the ballpark apartments are all completed we expect a bit of a crash, but at least in this would-be MLS photo there's someone depicted that's willing to trim the hedges. Not fucking bad for really taking place on Phobos, which in real life looks like a "no means yes" flying space potato.

Star Wars: Battle for Endor

I made that title up, and I'm also not sure if the moon Endor actually appears in the game or not. From what I remember of the films it's nearby. I think the Millennium Falcon is the same size as the Death Star for the entire game. I know that it LOOKS like there's planetary rings there separating stuff, but don't be fooled: that's actually a waxy, interstellar build up of Ewok splorg, the after-effects of what the Empire ran on. Did you guys see this video where "NFL Players" tell you not to beat up women? I'm putting together a similar one where Luke, Lando and Nein Numb chastise you into not blowing up Death Stars. By the way, half the guys in that video haven't played football in more than five years. One guy towards the end shows up in black and white and the last guy crabbing at the viewer is two flapping pages of the Voynich Manuscript. But I'm the guy they're yelling at, the one guy able to control himself here.

Anyway, my question for you, Firgof, is that you can quite easily be the fifth game in the universe to have moons if you dare.

the dark and gritty...Ice Cream Jonsey!