Ice Cream Jonsey wrote:

Most game reviewers are simply trying to get a job making games worse than the ones they are reviewing for a game company. They'd give life on Mars a 7 out of 10 if it meant they could leverage it into a junior design gig for Rockstar. Acting as worthless as possible, they suck as much cock as possible 364 days of the year, only deigning to rip the schlong out and get "tough" when faced with a closed developer like 3D Realms. Herp derp, the floodgates are now open. No time for fucking around here, the full range from 1 to 100 is now in play. What a bunch of transparent cunts. It would have been more useful if they stuck to their scale and gave DNF a 6.6 or something so I could actually gauge what they think, even though I hate whatever they do think. Every DNF review I've read has been just as awful and tedious as the opening bits to the game itself. Reviewers in 2011 don't have to regularly employ sarcasm or vitriol because you don't need those things to suck a nice, thick, juicy dick, and everyone who got their review posted on this game as soon as possible show how their writing chops have withered and wasted away.