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by Entropy Stew 03/21/2005, 3:51pm PST |
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Setting: Bink sits alone in his studio apartment, furiously typing away at his computer. He is wearing an oversized purple shoe on his head, a blue unitard, and an upturned lip. The spandex has gone critical around the waistline and is perilously close to snapping. Faint strains of Klingon Opera can be heard above the spandex-on-fake-leather friction noise. The room smells of cigarettes and sauerkraut. Kraut is leading in this danse macabre.
Scene 1:
The camera slowy zooms in, coming to a rest above and behind Bink's shoulder. The machine gun cadence of typing comes to the foreground. Rapidly cut between shots of the following, with the keyboard volume increasing each time:
A close-up of Bink's CRT-illuminated face.
An extreme close up of Bink's nubby fingers impacting the keyoard in slow-mo (typing sounds like bombs going off when centered on the keyboard)
An extreme close up of Bink inhaling on a cigarette with a monster perilous ash on the end. The color red is emphasized (the klingon opera begins to swell)
Keyboard shot
Close-up of face. Bink looks strained (klingon opera continues to swell)
Keyboard shot
Close up of Bink inhaling on the cig. The red is emphasized once again, and an atomic bomb explosion is overlayed on his face
Keyboard shot. Bink's finger has already depressed the enter key and is continuing to hold it (opera + atomic bomb sound creshendo and we cut to black)
Scene 2:
Bink is lies on his bed, sobbing
Bink: Ingrates! *sob* Philistines! *sooooob* FAGGOTS!
We see Bink's original post on the screen ("You people say 'fag' altogether too much NT") and it's sole reply ("Fags hate it when you call them fags NT by Entropy Stew"). The keyboard is flipped over and hanging halfway off the desk. As this happens, we hear Bink ranting semi-coherently about being "blackballed" in the background
Bink winds down, comes back to the computer, and hits refresh. Fussbett has posted a response to ES: "That was funnier when Creexul said it the first time NT". Bink's eyes become dreamy, and his entire demeanor softens. Gone is the vocabulary-criticising fru fru; he has been subsumed entirely by the crack addict giving out 5$ blowjobs
Bink: THAT ROXXORED
-/ES/- |
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Why are we mourning Billy "Stupid" Wilson? Quit being such goddamn fruits NT by Marvin 03/20/2005, 4:01am PST 
I talked about this to Jhoh. by Fussbett 03/20/2005, 4:06am PST
Others are curious, good. I thought i might be in trouble by bombMexico 03/20/2005, 4:23am PST
Re: Others are curious, good. I thought i might be in trouble by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/20/2005, 6:06pm PST
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. NT by The Mysterio Hive Mind 03/20/2005, 6:26pm PST
Still waiting to hear what he got dead OF, however. by laudablepuss 03/20/2005, 8:06pm PST
Liver failure. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/20/2005, 8:11pm PST
Alcohol-, Hepatitis-, or McDonalds-related? NT by Chairman Mao 03/20/2005, 9:09pm PST
Desiccated acrimonious washout. NT by bink 03/20/2005, 6:03am PST
Slashdot style, thesaurus-boy style trolls. Wow. by 1998! We love it! 03/20/2005, 8:06am PST
I could invite pasons. NT by Creexul :( 03/20/2005, 8:47am PST
Self-important Internet hipster. NT by bink 03/20/2005, 2:35pm PST
He's learning... adapting... faster than we ever thought possible! NT by Head of Cybernetics, Binkatorium 03/20/2005, 2:44pm PST
As far as pots go, you are black. NT by the kettle. 03/20/2005, 3:34pm PST
HAHA GOOD ONE NT by Bill Dungsroman 03/20/2005, 4:52pm PST
I am totally shamed by that one. NT by bink 03/20/2005, 10:11pm PST
Dried up AND washed out? Even in being insulted I'm pretty outstanding. NT by Fussbett 03/20/2005, 4:15pm PST
Well, braggadocio *is* funny. Have to give you props for that one. NT by bink 03/20/2005, 10:16pm PST
this post makes me uncomfortable. =( NT by Fullofkittens 03/20/2005, 10:30pm PST
Yeah this is suddenly getting really weird. :( NT by Creexul :( 03/21/2005, 12:57am PST
Wait. You guiys think all that other shit here is normal? NT by Mysterio 03/21/2005, 10:30am PST
Scent of a Fussbett Part 1: Minimum WAGE!!! by Entropy Stew 03/21/2005, 3:51pm PST
Blackballed in the Background for Blowjobs by ES NT by Bill Dungsroman 03/21/2005, 7:08pm PST
So is this the sequel to the original flash movie from clansrgay? NT by Creexul :( 03/22/2005, 7:59am PST
I would watch your flash critique. I would watch it beating meat by Entropy Stew 03/22/2005, 11:35pm PST
Re: I would watch your flash critique. I would watch it beating meat by Creexul :( 03/23/2005, 1:28am PST
It was the best I could do at the time. NT by bink 03/23/2005, 1:41am PST
That Flash movie is better than all your posts put together. by Fussbett 03/23/2005, 6:16am PST
Maybe I need an editor! NT by bink 03/23/2005, 6:21am PST
It's from a few years ago. :( NT by Creexul :( 03/23/2005, 7:56am PST
Back when bink was in his prime? NT by Fussbett 03/23/2005, 8:51am PST
Pretty much! NT by Creexul :( 03/23/2005, 10:59am PST
No "prime," Creex just remembers me more fondly because I agreed with him. NT by bink 03/23/2005, 12:04pm PST
Well, duh. NT by Mysterio 03/24/2005, 4:32am PST
Seconded NT by Entropy Stew 03/24/2005, 2:34am PST
This would make a great flash, if it were actually funny. NT by bink 03/22/2005, 7:59pm PST
Marvin is a fraud by Andrew 03/22/2005, 7:00pm PST
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