Ebert wrote:

Some of the fiercest and most useful satire on the web right now is being written by a man who signs himself Smart Ass Cripple. Using his wheelchair as a poodium, he ridicules government restrictions, cuts through hypocrisy, ignores the PC firewalls surrounding his disability, and is usually very funny. Because he has been disabled since birth, he uses that as a license to write things that others may think but do not dare say.

...The weapon Smart Ass uses against that is withering, merciless humor. It is empowering. He is like a standup comic who can't stand up, unleashing a torrent of truth that makes us laugh helplessly because we know it is true. Richard Pryor could do that. So could Mark Twain. When Jonathan Swift proposed that the starving people of Ireland eat their babies, he was a pioneer of the tradition.

Four Out of Five Cripples Prefer a Kick in the Crotch wrote:

Like I’ve said, I went to a state-operated boarding school for cripples that I call the Sam Houston Institute of Technology (SHIT).

Helen Keller in the Bell Tower wrote:

Helen Keller would’ve made a lousy store greeter, too. I mean, how can a blind woman even know when customers are entering the store, unless you make them all wear a cowbell or something? And she’s deaf on top of it? Forget it! It’s way too impractical. Helen Keller’s rehab counselor probably would have sent her up into the bell tower as well. It makes sense. First off, she was already deaf so that’s a plus. And for job preparation training, all she would need would be a few climbing lessons.

“So where are you from?”

“Utah!” he answered.

Long pause.

“You know what the Utah state bird is?” he asked me.

I’m not well-schooled on state birds.

“It’s the seagull,” he said.

Long pause

“And do you know what happens when you feed a seagull Alka-Seltzer?” he said.

I’m even less schooled on the effects of indigestion remedies on state birds.

“It explodes! You know why? Because birds can’t burp!”

Hearing this made me want to ask him a thousand questions. But I was afraid that whatever I asked, he might very well give me the answer. It’s like when I see people on street passing out pamphlets and wearing t-shirts that say JEWS FOR JESUS. I really want to ask them how someone can be a Jew for Jesus. But I’m afraid they’ll tell me. So instead I avoid all further eye contact.

But I really wanted to ask the cripple from Utah how the hell he discovered that seagulls explode if you feed them Alka-Seltzer. Is blowing up your first seagull a rite of passage in Utah? Do they feed seagulls Alka-Seltzer at school science fairs?