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by Jerry Whorebach 12/18/2011, 5:04am PST |
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Granted, I went into it with the lowest of expectations, but I didn't think it was that terrible. The best scene was easily when they let the sand out of that pit to raise the Egyptian obelisk, and it looked like nothing so much as a sixty-year-old man lying on his couch at 2am watching Secrets of Lost Empires, forgetting for fifty minutes about his heartburn and his divorce and his looming redundancy and just thinking "hey, that's pretty neat." The whole movie was like that, just a big list of things your dad saw on cable and thought belonged in a movie - ancient construction, World War II amphibious trucks, "scientific" explanations for religious phenomenon that somehow manage to sound even more crazy, Karen Allen, the list goes on. It doesn't even matter what's going on around these things, it could be an adventure or a fistfight or something he read in an Archie comic, the point is they're up there on the screen and now he'll have an excuse to tell people all about them. Way to go, George, you're living the fantasy of a million dads. |
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