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| I don't even know if his burn was directed at me or America's fighting women? by Jerry Whorebach 07/09/2011, 6:06pm PDT | ||||
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| Anyway, here are some things I like about Call of Duty 4, Modern Warfare 1:
The controls About the best you can expect from an Xbox game about pointing and clicking. The framerate is silky smooth, the input lag so minimal as to be entirely imperceptible, the button layout intuitive (despite assigning critical functions to pressing the analog sticks like they were proper fucking buttons, something that should NEVER BE DONE EVER) and overall I rarely felt disadvantaged playing on a gamepad. Experienced shooters will want to disable the hilariously heavy-handed aim assist right off the bat, but I imagine it works well enough if you are a mongoloid or PC gamer. The tutorial By the time I cleared the kill-house in 19.99 seconds or whatever, setting a new squadron record and earning the grudging respect of my moustachioed CO, I felt like I was ready to take on the world. This was the most fun I would have with the game until... The epilogue If the preceding seventeen levels were lessons in shepherding teammates and managing enemy spawns, this was my final exam. As some guy on a defunct blog put it, "sixty seconds of actions performed in exactly sixty seconds." Almost makes you wish someone would do an FPS that was nothing BUT time trials. 
Oh, right. I think I have this in my backlog somewhere, still in the shrink wrap, with a succession of increasingly desperate price stickers on it. In the interest of fairness, here are some things I don't like about Call of Duty 4, Modern Warfare 1: The campaign Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Rogue Spear: The Movie: The Official Game of the Movie. Russian ultra-nationalists/super-patriots (perspective!) are in posession of a stolen nuclear warhead, the titular Rogue Spear. Only your elite multi-national special missions force can stop them. Replaces the planning phase, open levels, one-hit kills, eight-man squads, body jumping and go-codes of the original Rainbow Six with a bunch of fucking SCRIPTED CONTENT for you to wade through in between story beats. Keeps all the name-brand guns intact. The collectables Searching for hidden intel only serves to illuminate just how incredibly narrow the levels are. Every fight takes place in a room (sometimes it's a big, vaguely outdoorsy room) with a single corridor leading in and another leading out. The game gives no indication how many pieces of intel there are to be found in each level (some contain none), and there is no way to determine which ones have already been found. Either a particularly unclever ploy to sell strategy guides or a half-assed attempt to fulfill some bizarre requirement for Xbox certification (worthless timesink achievements - check). Your black squadmate doing a rap over the closing credits Who am I kidding, this was awesome. Every game should finish with a song. |
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I thought the female helicopter gunship pilot was a nice, progressive touch. by 07/09/2011, 3:22am PDT  One day you'll go on a date, Jerry, and all this will become clearer. NT by 07/09/2011, 8:26am PDT was that a sick burrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnn????? by 07/09/2011, 11:22am PDT I don't even know if his burn was directed at me or America's fighting women? by 07/09/2011, 6:06pm PDT Mysterieaux dates: dragging unconscious women NT by 07/09/2011, 5:21pm PDT You don't drag the pilot, you fireman-carry her NT by 07/09/2011, 5:55pm PDT Koreans reverse-engineer Modern Warfare, produce Kia Cadenza of Iraq 'em ups by 07/25/2011, 1:19pm PDT Why do we even HAVE helmets? NT by 07/25/2011, 1:35pm PDT Helmets: the surest way to ensure getting killed in battle NT by 07/25/2011, 2:11pm PDT |
