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| Bangkok Review by Rafiki 09/03/2010, 7:03am PDT | ||||
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| What a shithole!
You may have seen various news articles mentioning Bangkok as being voted the #1 tourist destination in the world. Is everyone in the world retarded? If you trust my opinions, then let me confirm that everyone else is a retard. You might be able to find some lists online about the top X things to do in Bangkok, and it's telling that half of them are stupid shit like "Eat next to surly old people!," "Go shopping!," and "Watch foot volleyball!" The latter is neat, but no reason to book a trip to Bangkok. The first one is just ignorant, and the 2nd is the laziest possible suggestion. You might as well suggest "see tourist attractions." But if you must come to Bangkok, I've compiled a list of my top 3 activities: 1) Book a Flight out of Bangkok - You can get roundtrip tickets from Bangkok to anywhere else in the country for $100. Go to Chiang Mai instead. The souvenir stuff is way more inflated in price than the JJ Market in Bangkok, but Chiang Mai is still better. 2) Book a Tour - Many tours will take you to locations outside of Bangkok. Go on one of those, because then you won't be in Bangkok (this is ideal). 3) Take a Tuk Tuk Ride to Hell - Tuk Tuks are a poor man's taxi cab that drive through the city at warp speed, taking you everywhere but where you asked to be taken. Given the insanity of Bangkok traffic, that if there are traffic laws no one follows them, that tuk tuks are even known to drive on sidewalks, and travel agencies recommend you not take tuk tuks because you could die, you might die if you take one. Hedge your bets and see if you can make it into the Bangkok Forensics Museum as a wall-length exhibit that carefully preserves the hamburger pieces of your corpse that were scraped up after being smeared and exploded down an entire city block. This museum is also used to teach medical students, so you can go out knowing you donated your body to science and education. Plus, you'll no longer be in Bangkok. |
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Bangkok Review by 09/03/2010, 7:03am PDT  Oh and I'll try and post some pictures later NT by 09/03/2010, 7:05am PDT Rafiki is a hard man, but one night in Bangkok made him crumble. NT by 09/03/2010, 7:36am PDT The creme da le creme of the Caltrops world in a show with everything but NT by 09/03/2010, 3:07pm PDT |
