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| Bonus Third Age RPG review by call me #24601, prisoner to... 02/25/2005, 4:18pm PST | ||||
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| A board of moron comments disguised as php code not worth loading as a full page.
The console rendition of Third Age is a carbon copy of FFX, except without any play balance. Japanese games have actual playtesting and timing, giving you challanges in between segments of breathers. That's something missing from american games, most noticable in TTA both for GBA and the consoles. As the making-of videos betray, this is precisely what you get when you throw money at a dozen programming, gaming misfits and tell them to make a wannabe Final Fantasy. The 1st level is easy, 2nd level is easy until the boss which I believe is harder than the final boss, and the rest of the game is a mishmash of 4 different orcs segregated into four subtypes ("w/ arrows, w/ swords, w/ staff, w/ beserker traits"). Imagine final fantasy except the whole game consist of fighting four palatte swaps of goblins. Now imagine it to be half as fun. Beyond the 5th level the game is impossible on anything above Easy. But it's fucking pretty. Very very pretty. If you're one of those 'tards that bought FF7 just to watch the cutscenes, this game is for you. The special effects on all attacks are turned up to 11, you can feel every blast, hit, smash, arrow pierce, the magic resulting from beautifully rendered trajectories, lens flares, ripple distortions, and mocapped goodness. The boss fights are to this game what cutscenes did for FF7. It will fucking sell you a game that someone shat out of his ashcroft. The nerd spooge fest is still there. Helm deep is rendered to the brick using the original computer models supplied by Weta. Every useless piece of equipment is relevant to the history presented both in the movies and the books. I'm convinced that the guy who supplied the mocap for the spear-man PC actually studied martial arts (whether as an asian or as a jap wannabe). True to what's essentially a fan game, the story sucks. They tried to make a story that's pasteable on top of the movies and performed as expected. Imagine your GM making up a story to go hand-in-hand with the three movies. That's how much it sucks, I don't care how good your GM is. GMs and tabletop RPGs went out of the style with the Vega, you cheetos eating walking diabetes risk. If you want a real story go watch a fucking movie, if you want dungeon hacking go play diablo. And that sums up this game, too: there exist better ways to experience all aspects of this game, but there's shore parts that are mind-blowingly purdy and detailed. |
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Your LotR Third Age GBA review; WTF is wrong with you guys by 02/25/2005, 11:42am PST  [obligatory derisive comparison to Mysterio #2848 "now THAT guy was funny" here] by 02/25/2005, 12:37pm PST Bonus Third Age RPG review by 02/25/2005, 4:18pm PST finally, thank you by 02/25/2005, 4:18pm PST Hahaha, that must have really stung you then. by 02/25/2005, 4:26pm PST rim my ashcroft, asshat by 02/25/2005, 4:26pm PST |
