Kurt Vonnegut wrote:

What's Germany like today? Do its tiny, chattering brown natives still make a lot of yarn? Nobody knows. But, luckily, nobody cares. Without Nazis, Germany has absolutely no export that might possibly be of interest to anyone.

Raymond Chandler wrote:

Now, I'm not a big man. In fact, I'm a small man attached to a big man's penis.

David Foster Wallace wrote:

I said that too, but I replaced "heck" with a different word - one that, although it ends in "ck" just like "heck" and has the totally innocuous word "mother" in it, is actually pretty bad.

H.P. Lovecraft wrote:

Once we came up with that insight, the actual formula for the world's first completely unbiased review methodology was a trivial matter of applying our many hours spent watching actors portray scientists on television to our hatred of crates.

James Joyce wrote:

A mob of little kids teased Elijah - kind of a Cooter-level major recurring character in the Old Testament - and God immediately had forty-two of them murdered. And he didn't just regular kill them, he had them bear-mauled to death.

Ian Fleming wrote:

Drakan was number two on the August, 1999 Softrend chart.

Vladimir Nabokov wrote:

When tragedy strikes, America mobilizes. Actual heroes like firemen and the police leap into harm's way while other heroes get busy making stickers that show someone pissing on the cause of the tragedy. Soldiers prepare for war while hot chicks who can play the violin rush to assist rockers such as Limp Bizkit in their desperate attempts to retool songs about bitch fucking into sad tributes to heroes.

P.G. Wodehouse wrote:

I want to play the action man's Robotron - a game like Robotron but with much less thinking.

Dan Brown wrote:

With one hard slap, a Muslim child could make me explode into a cloud of dust like a mummy. Touched by a relatively harmless Islamist sparkler, I'd evaporate in a burst of flame, also like a mummy.

Arthur C. Clarke wrote:

After the stewardess and one of my fellow passengers managed to get me back into some of my flight clothing, I noticed that my zipper was undone and used the stewardess button to summon the stewardess to see what she could do about that. It's possible that she was Vietnamese because she evidently had never seen a zipper before. "I can't help you with that," she told me the first four times I pressed the stewardess button to show her my zipper. Times five through eleven, she didn't come at all. You can discount times twelve, thirteen, fourteen, and fifteen thru ninety since I was pressing the light button because I thought the stewardess button was broken.

Stephenie Meyer wrote:

It means I'm bad... to... the... bone, I said, touching each word as I spoke it.

Mary Shelley wrote:

Science is not about your feelings.