Caltrops - Motherfucking News - BLACK FRIDAY DEAD POOL

Forum Overview :: Motherfucking News

by Rafiki 11/11/2009, 9:38pm PST

Black Friday is a couple weeks out, but I'll post this now because otherwise I'd forget.

Let us celebrate the arrival of the holiday season and the lunatic consumerism it brings by being ghouls about portential the deaths of fat Wal-Mart shoppers. SO PLACE YOUR BETS:

-HOW MANY DEAD
-HOW MANY INJURED.

Ground rules:

-Shopping related deaths and injuries only. Must take place on store premesis OR be credibly linked to shopper-on-shopper violence. For example, if Person A buys the last hot new children's toy, and Person B gets so angry that they stalk Person A all the way home and beats them to death in the driveway to steal the toy, it counts.

-Official results will be tallied one week after Black Friday, on Dec. 4th, 2009. Only news stories posted to this thread will be counted, so the week is to give everyone ample time to spot stories.

-Deaths: Deaths, or injuries that result in death, must occur on November 27th. In other words, if someone is trampled trying to get a $3 toaster on Friday, but their injuries don't kill them until the following Wednesday, it still counts. If someone is trampled on Saturday at 12:00:00AM and dies at any time, fuck them. Someone could hypothetically be trampled on Friday, remain in a coma with little chance for survival all the way until the following Friday, but they count only for injury and not death and the tallying won't be delayed because this contest has to end some time so that's their problem.

-Injuries: Injuries MUST result in a trip to the hospital. Even if they are discharged with no lasting injuries. If they're in a hospital being examined by a doctor because of some crazy shit that went down at Best Buy, they were injured. People that were "injured" in a store but walked away without a trip to the hospital? DOESN'T COUNT. Even if an ambulance shows up. Even if EMTs treat them at the scene and release them with "minor injuries." DOESN'T COUNT. I could stub my toe on Black Friday and claim injury. Who gives a shit. Hospital visits only.

Wikipedia wrote:

In most pools, killing the [person] in question is considered cheating and results in the killer's immediate disqualification from the pool, with the notable exception of assassination market

-NO PADDING THE COUNT.

WINNING PRIZE: The person or persons who successfully states both the correct number of dead and injured as a result of shopping on Black Friday gets to claim they are God.

Since we're still two weeks away, rules are open to suggestion for some revision, but let's not go crazy. Save that for the shopping season.