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| Hmmm by Quétinbec 09/12/2009, 12:58am PDT | ||||
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| My new best friend here has a Italian mother and a Turkish Father and has lived half his life in England and half in Brazil. Turkey was a fucked place until a King came along and in the early 1900's and tried to modernize it. For instance, it wasn't until the 1930's that Turkish people had surnames! Until then, everyone was just going by their first name. The King said everyone had to choose any surname they liked for the sake of modernity and telephone books. My friend's Grandfather was a religious scholar at a university there and chose the surname 'Hindu'! When else besides the internet have a people been able to choose their own names? Cool. I only know three Turkish people, though, and one of them is Hedo Turkaglu. :(
Anyway, I won't tell you this guy's actual first name because there are assholes here, but it's Italian so his name is like 'Edmondo Hindu' and he speaks with an English accent and has a Brazilian wife! He is fat and funny as fuck. I'm not so much funny as I am hilarious, and by that I mean I'm not witty, but if I blabbed on about some bullshit for long enough, you'd eventually think it was pretty hilarious, but I can really only be funny quickly by being mean so I appreciate 'witty' people. ANYWAY, he has never fucked an Asian girl and thinks I have done something clever by fucking so many. Of course, we all know there's nothing to it. It's just about being white in the right part of the world. It's a disgrace, even! As a fat man, he has a beautiful Brazilian wife and has told me how easy it is to fuck women in Northern Brazil, where the men leave their women behind for jobs in primary industry in Southern Brazil. He has invited me to join him there in the summer break. We're going to use 4 weeks leave and 3 weeks personal development time and I'm going to fuck the shit out of Brazilian girls! It will be a great thing to do. It's Turkey in Christmas and Brazil in the summer break. Imagine the cunt! IMAGINE IT! I will satisfy myself. If I could fuck five girls in each of those countries, you could shoot me in the head and I wouldn't mind. I've been bitching out my cleaning staff like a total fucking asshole! It started when they tumble dried a couple of shirts that should have been hung dried which resulted in a shrinkage. I'm too tall to tolerate any shrinkage. Anything I buy is on the cusp of being too short off the hanger. I went to their manager and was like "...tell the Indians to leave it if they're unsure..." even though they're all from Bangladesh. Here's the bad part, though: while I was angry about my shirts, I complained that they didn't puff my cushions up consistently!!! I have a sofa which is in the corner of my eye while I'm on my computer and this little fucker who was angling for a tip (like I'm some kind of fucking American) came and spent like 5 minutes puffing the cushions and making as big a deal about that as he could in the corner of my eye. It was fucking awkward trying to ignore him. The next day I wasn't around when they cleaned and the cushions went unpuffed! So 5 minutes puffing while I'm there and no puffing when I'm not? Now, maybe every second day they'll be puffed. I don't really give a fuck if they puff the cushions or not, but be consistant about it so I know what work I have to do. My point is that guys who tip them get theirs puffed every day though, so I complained about this to their manager. It's a dick thing to do, but it's like I'm being discriminated against for not coming for a tipping culture. The Americans get theirs puffed. |
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Hmmm by 09/12/2009, 12:58am PDT  Actually, the term we use is 'fluffed.' NT by 09/12/2009, 12:49pm PDT "No way am I going to blow all the money within a year THIS TIME!" by 09/12/2009, 1:42pm PDT Hey cocksucker, some of us earning $2100/wk here. Flights to Brazil are nothing. NT by 09/13/2009, 5:45am PDT Re: Hmmm by 09/13/2009, 5:16am PDT you have found a manual THE FAGGOT'S GUIDE TO BEING A FAGGOT by 09/17/2009, 7:27pm PDT |
