Caltrops - No Stairway to Heaven - More Pitchfork rage (albums of the year)

Forum Overview :: No Stairway to Heaven

by Senor Barborito 01/14/2005, 7:19am PST

Pitchfork sucks so much.

I can't believe the cocksucking that Arcade Fire album is getting. Where did these idiots jam Ta Det Lungt? 17th or something? Absurd.

Let me put my thing down here and say: The Arcade Fire suck. They suck. OOOOO you're SO emotional, OOOOOO your scary piano is SO haunted. OOOO A POP HOOK NOW THAT'S NOVEL. These retards all wish they were naughty 15-year-olds instead of faggot 20- or 30-somethings in bedsits, then they could go back to be prodigal children with so much potential instead of taxpayers. Neuroses are not a supplement to nor a replacement for musical ability, guys.

And man, while there is a place for nostalgia, and I feel you on that one, if I were them I'd be fighting tooth and nail to get away from that sandtrap. I see Arcade Fire as the icebreaker of what is and will be a landslide of bands filled with ex-gifted-children lamenting the loss of their spoiled youth, and that makes me uncomfortable - an entire musical movement premised on wistful regression. It's kind of like goth, but without any acknowledgement of larger (and by default more interesting) forces. Say what you like about goth, but I'd rather my post-adolescents focused on bitterly on god's injustice and the afterlife and murder and whatnot before they focused on getting back somehow to where they were five years earlier.

I keep trying to listen to Funeral again so I can piss on it more objectively, but "parents' bedrooms" is right there in the first track, and I swear it's like scraping the needle off the record. Just... SHUT UP! Make some popcorn and start filling out that 1040 like it was a Cosmo quiz. Go to church if you really need someone ambigiously paternal to watch over you.

Ta Det Lungt is my pick for album of the year, with Dragonforce's "Sonic Firestorm", Tokyo Jihen's "Kyoiku", and Arto Lindsay's "Salt" being the first runners-up I think of.