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He was made redundant yesterday so now we're both unemployed by Quétinbec 03/25/2009, 6:08pm PDT
And last month said he was sick of sharing the house with us and wants us all out by July.

Curious Minds wrote:


This brings up another issue we've been wondering about. You've lectured us all on several occasions about how your main concern during sex is the minimization of effort and conservation of energy.


It's true that too little priority is given to energy conservation in sex. If it were a martial art or a sport, people would put a lot more strategic thought into it, but because it's supposed to be some intimate, magical whatever people just play it by ear and end up burning themselves out. There are positions that are no better than any other yet burn up 4-5 times as much energy. Why spend more than 30 seconds in them if you use them at all?

Curious Minds wrote:


We're thinking about that, and how you're now wanking three times a day.


I actually didn't wank from Monday evening through to Wednesday evening this week and I felt a lot better for it. Then last night I called my girlfriend who's been too busy flying around doing important and impressive things to talk to me and she didn't seem to be missing me and has postponed her return by another month and a half when I only have enough money to last here for a month, so I masturbated several times to Asian girls with similar hair pretending they were her and pretending that I was getting her pregnant.

Curious Minds wrote:


And we're wondering, at what point does it no longer matter whose hand is on the cock, or if it's male or female? If your only sex these days is with your own hand, how gay is it to let another man's hand do the work for you, thereby eliminating the last vestige of effort needed? You don't even have to initiate things, or roll over! It's almost the perfect QB sex, really. Stop fighting it already.


This is retarded for a dozen reasons. I could masterbate all day without draining myself. And no guy's going to agree to just jerk you off. Imagine if a girl asked you to 'just' jerk her off. You'd be within your rights to rape her. Also, I don't like handjobs or oral sex.

Curious Minds wrote:


If it makes you feel better, maybe the landlord can put some fake pimples all over his face and get his tenses and possessives mixed up while talking.


He found a boyfriend on a phone dating service. He's an asshole lifeguard/banker who thinks I'm gay and who puts me down by always making fun of the cheapness of my food and drink, and he stubs out cigarettes from strangers' hands to pretend he cares about their health. He's fucking annoying.
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The Caltrops 100,000 Post Contest by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 9:47am PDT NEW
    Man, that guy can't STOP winning. NT by Fussbett 03/18/2009, 9:50am PDT NEW
        HE'S WINNIN ANY FUCKIN WAY *lights up menthol* NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 9:52am PDT NEW
    I think Jerry is the best person to give that to. :( by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 10:18am PDT NEW
    100K, now out of curiosity ~how many were lost in the deletion NT by up with pod people 03/18/2009, 11:33am PDT NEW
        All the good ones NT by CALTROPS PEAKED IN 2003 03/18/2009, 12:31pm PDT NEW
            But we have the 2003 posts. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 1:42pm PDT NEW
                HOORAY, THEN! NT by CALTROPS PEAKED IN 2003 03/18/2009, 1:48pm PDT NEW
        Re: 100K, now out of curiosity ~how many were lost in the deletion by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 8:00pm PDT NEW
    Awesome. I had a feeling not buying Braid would pay off for me! by Jerry Whorebach 03/18/2009, 5:44pm PDT NEW
        Well $15 I mean come on, that's stupid, what dipshit would pay that? by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 5:53pm PDT NEW
            >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( NT by Bald 03/18/2009, 7:15pm PDT NEW
    How the fuck do I gift Braid to Jerry in Xbox Live? THIS IS BULLSHIT NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 8:20pm PDT NEW
        You can gift him the points, but not the game itself. NT by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 03/18/2009, 8:24pm PDT NEW
            Xbawcks should learn from Meast. O_O by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/18/2009, 8:50pm PDT NEW
                Sorry, I need all my points for those sweet sweet Rock Band DLC tracks. NT by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 03/18/2009, 9:29pm PDT NEW
                    I wonder if ICJ has spare points. O_O NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/19/2009, 5:41am PDT NEW
                        GOT SOME POINTS MAN? I GOT THESE CHEESE BURGERS, I WILL SUCK YOU COCK NT by Homeless Guy who doesn't exist 03/19/2009, 7:11am PDT NEW
                            He was given cheeseburgers and doesn't even like them, but by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/19/2009, 8:00am PDT NEW
                                Jerry doesn't need your money; he needs your love. NT by Quétinbec 03/19/2009, 5:23pm PDT NEW
                                    (But he'll take the money.) NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/19/2009, 5:27pm PDT NEW
                                        Re: (But he'll take the money.) by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/19/2009, 8:30pm PDT NEW
                                            Jerry, do the right thing and turn down the points! NT by Quétinbec 03/19/2009, 9:14pm PDT NEW
                                                Hey guys Quentin Beck has some advice for me, it's about doing the right thing. by Jerry Whorebach 03/19/2009, 11:33pm PDT NEW
                                                    This is my new desktop background NT by E. L. Koba 03/20/2009, 12:56am PDT NEW
                                                    You know ICJ would have insisted and you could've looked like a gentleman. NT by Quétinbec 03/20/2009, 7:15pm PDT NEW
                                                        This isn't personal, this is CONTEST BUSINESS, and I take it VERY SERIOUSLY. NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/20/2009, 10:31pm PDT NEW
                                                            Update: it's gonna be on Steam on March 30. I can wait if you can. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/21/2009, 1:36pm PDT NEW
                                                                Tell him you've got a doctor's appointment on the 30th. Play up the liver thing. NT by Metroplex 03/21/2009, 6:16pm PDT NEW
                                                                I can do Youtubes now, but Braid might be pushing it (my video card). by Jerry Whorebach 03/21/2009, 6:31pm PDT NEW
                                                                    THIS IS A TRAP, dear god I hope I'm in time by bombMexico 03/22/2009, 2:08am PDT NEW
                                                                        He's trying to trade his gift in for friendship! How cheap do you come, ICJ? NT by Quétinbec 03/22/2009, 4:04am PDT NEW
                                                                        What? Jerry's STILL trying to kill himself? by Mischief Maker 03/22/2009, 8:07am PDT NEW
                                                                            Choice of method is a fairly reliable indicator of gender by Ray of Light 03/22/2009, 9:36am PDT NEW
                                                                            Suicide! by Quétinbec 03/22/2009, 5:24pm PDT NEW
                                                                                Street rat! by Zsenitan 03/23/2009, 5:52am PDT NEW
                                                                                    Comedy GOLD by Where do I send the check? 03/23/2009, 8:20am PDT NEW
                                                                                It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Milk 03/23/2009, 3:30pm PDT NEW
                                                                                    Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Quétinbec 03/23/2009, 4:43pm PDT NEW
                                                                                        Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Horrible Gelatinous Blob 03/23/2009, 11:16pm PDT NEW
                                                                                            Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by I need clarification 03/24/2009, 1:02am PDT NEW
                                                                                                Urm... Peace. NT by Quétinbec 03/24/2009, 1:03am PDT NEW
                                                                                                Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Choson 03/24/2009, 7:26am PDT NEW
                                                                                                I probably would misspell it "hey fever." I'm lazy that way. by I need clarification 03/24/2009, 10:34am PDT NEW
                                                                                                Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 1:08am PDT NEW
                                                                                                Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Vested Id 04/01/2009, 1:30am PDT NEW
                                                                                                    Re: It's ok, QB, come on out of the closet by Quétinbec 04/01/2009, 3:40am PDT NEW
                                                                                                        the question is WHERE does he have it? NT by gruman 04/01/2009, 8:14am PDT NEW
                                                                            How can you will yourself to have willpower? NT by bink 03/23/2009, 6:14am PDT NEW
                                                                            British Columbia water by Fussbett 03/23/2009, 9:48pm PDT NEW
                                                                                I'm gonna go against the grain and recommend that Jerry does kill himself. by I need clarification 03/23/2009, 10:59pm PDT NEW
                                                                                    The best ATOR of me yet. I'm nothing but flattered!! by I need clarification 03/23/2009, 11:25pm PDT NEW
                                                                                        I love how this thread turned into a celebration of life. Specifically, my life. NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/24/2009, 9:37am PDT NEW
                                                                                            I'm sure everyone's just kidding you to avoid guilt from your potential suicide by Quétinbec 03/24/2009, 5:09pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                Almost like getting a new girlfriend, am I right? NT by I need clarification 03/24/2009, 6:08pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                    I'd rather be getting pity fucks than giving them.Does your wife thank you after NT by Quétinbec 03/24/2009, 6:53pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                        It's more of a cash transaction. NT by I need clarification 03/24/2009, 6:54pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                        So, your landlord - you think it was him pitying you? by Curious Minds 03/25/2009, 11:17am PDT NEW
                                                                                                            He was made redundant yesterday so now we're both unemployed by Quétinbec 03/25/2009, 6:08pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                Re: He was made redundant yesterday so now we're both unemployed by Mischief Maker 03/25/2009, 7:50pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                    More legal advice like this, plz. NT by Jerry Whorebach 03/25/2009, 8:21pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                    Re: He was made redundant yesterday so now we're both unemployed by Quétinbec 03/25/2009, 10:17pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                        Do you wish us to send you money? NT by Gert Fröbe 03/25/2009, 11:01pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                            No, I have people for that. I want your sympathies. NT by Quétinbec 03/26/2009, 1:53am PDT NEW
                                                                                            Vital excess. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/24/2009, 6:42pm PDT NEW
                                                                                I'm as serious as a pill popping self induced heart attack my friend :( by bombMexico 03/25/2009, 12:42am PDT NEW
                                                                                    Frontpage material here^ by laudablepuss 03/25/2009, 8:06am PDT NEW
                                                                                        I would agree, thanks bm NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/25/2009, 7:48pm PDT NEW
                                                                                            The pictures are broken! by laudablepuss 03/27/2009, 3:14pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                Re: The pictures are broken! by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/27/2009, 3:42pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                    also broken here, plus: by up with pod people 03/27/2009, 3:55pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                    You're using backslashes. BACKSLASHES?! NT by Fussbett 03/27/2009, 4:07pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                        Uh-oh NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/27/2009, 4:10pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                            SO FIRED! NT by motherfuckerfoodeater 03/27/2009, 4:14pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                                All set now an-- did I just get fired from my web gig??? What will I tell Gram!? NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/27/2009, 5:30pm PDT NEW
                                                                                            hey I'm published now it feels so good, ROYALTIES PLZ by bombMexico 03/31/2009, 5:05pm PDT NEW
                                                                                                Thanks by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/01/2009, 9:20am PDT NEW
                                                                                                    Yeah, i'm going to need to call in that favor now. by bombMexico 04/09/2009, 10:30pm PDT NEW
                                                                                    Unlike Gandhi, you are a hero. NT by mark 03/25/2009, 8:44am PDT NEW
                                                                        First prize is consolation. Consolation prize is you're fired. NT by Ray of Light 03/24/2009, 7:31pm PDT NEW
                                                                    I don't have to do anything until April 15th? I'm in. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/23/2009, 3:44pm PDT NEW
                                            This is all Jonathan Blow(JOB)'s fault. by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/19/2009, 9:37pm PDT NEW
                            ..................EW, GET OUT OF HERE MAN NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 03/19/2009, 9:19am PDT NEW
            Thanks. That's bullshit, but you saved me a lot of time determining that. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 9:01pm PDT NEW
                Now make him promise to buy Braid with your points and not something he wants NT by bombMexico 03/18/2009, 10:26pm PDT NEW
                    Yeah, look Jerry, if I ever figure this out, I'm gonna need your word that you d NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 10:37pm PDT NEW
                        on't get Discs of Tron or something. NT by Ice Cream Jonsey 03/18/2009, 10:38pm PDT NEW
                            Give him a l/p to whole new account that only has Braid. Braid: worth logging ou NT by Ray of Light 03/18/2009, 10:44pm PDT NEW
                                Whoooooooop! NT by Mischief Maker 03/19/2009, 6:37am PDT NEW
            This is now fixed? by The Happiness Engine 04/09/2009, 11:20am PDT NEW
                Re: This is now fixed? by Ice Cream Jonsey 04/14/2009, 11:34am PDT NEW
                    We must bomb Jerry day and night. NT by Creexuls, a monster >:3 04/14/2009, 11:36am PDT NEW
                        We must confound Jerry at every turn! NT by Entropy Stew 04/14/2009, 7:15pm PDT NEW
 
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