Caltrops - Peter Molyneux's The Movies





	[quote name="Creexuls, a monster >:3"]I mean even Rick Berman said that they were making a TNG version of Wrath of Khan with this movie. You're like the last person to catch on to that. Also: A weapon that turns people into stone. STUPID. Definitely not written by any veteran Trek writers, but in fact written by people who worked on the Star Wars prequels who didn't really have any experience writing for <b>or admittedly even watching</b> the Star Trek shows or movies. That's how you get shit that fits more in a fantasy movie into the Star Trek universe which is supposed to be more reality based than most science fiction. Also: The only parts written by Trek veterans is the shit about rerouting auxiliary power, which they needed someone to tell them that the movie doesn't need, and then any part that involves Riker and Troi getting married and the character's personal lives, which has never been more awkward or stilted than in the TNG movies. Also: Shinzon wants to use the magic space weapon to destroy Earth for absolutely no reason, when he could use it to destroy Romulus WHICH IS PICTURED RIGHT BEHIND HIM FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THE MOVIE. In DS9 (the best Trek series by far and it's not even close) the enemy would've attacked the Romulans, <b>which would make sense in every way there is possible to make sense and even some ways which are essentially impossible</b>, and the good guys would have to defend their own enemies. But then again they did that many times in Star Trek because they had interesting writers and not some people who did spec script work on the Star Wars prequels. Also: The part near the beginning where they try to make Picard to be like some kind of ACTION HERO as he races a STARFLEET DUNE BUGGY (stupid) across a desert being chased by goony goons. Also: Picard smirks (HEH KNOWING CHUCKLE) as he orders the Enterprise to ram the bad guy ship (the Scimitar, IS THERE A ROMULAN WORD FOR AN EXCLUSIVELY HUMAN LANGUAGE WORD?), crushing probably a hundred OF HIS OWN crew members and just anyone in the front of the ship, just to show that he can be UNEXPECTED even though Shinzon studied all of Picard's battle tactics! This is fucking horrible. It's sort of like Troll Police except this movie probably wasn't trying to intentionally be the stupidest thing the writers could think of. ALSO FUCKING ALSO: At the end when Picard's amazing tactic of pulling down a random nearby wall pipe and simply <b>letting Shinzon walk right into it and impale himself on it</b>, easily one of the stupidest movie deaths in history (right up there with Shark Attack 3 driving a jetski into a shark's mouth, or the guy in the ninja movie shrugging after taking a ninja star to the chest), you don't even have to look closely to see the <b>obviously styrofoam</b> pipe slide off of the <b>obviously hidden metal plate</b> under Shinzon's futuristic space shirt. And no one bothered to retake that or use a different take or fix it in post. This destroys the suspension of disbelief as easily as a 60 year old bald guy can single handedly wipe out an entire ship of highly trained psychic alien soldiers. You probably don't know what I'm referring to, so I might as well spell it out that the "60 year old bald guy" is Picard, and the ship is the ship he goes onto at the end after crashing the Enterprise, and the highly trained psychic alien soldiers are the bad guys he fights on the ship, in a scene that takes place very close to the end of the movie.[/quote]