Caltrops - Reviews





	[quote name="FABIO"]Tried pushing ahead a little more, but the game aggressively tries to keep you from anything fun. It could have just let you sneak into the palace, but wouldn't it be more fun running around the desert hunting down a killer tomato and collecting rocks first? Speaking of Shakespeare, it seems the plot is built around tricking kids who don't know any better into thinking this is something DEEP and MEANINGFUL, from Mister Bad Guy's high school valedictorian speech with "slings and arrows" clumsily thrown in to Puffy Shirt guy sounding like he was written by Penny Arcade's Tycho. I know it's par the course for Jap RPGs, but what is with every reviewer spooging over this story? The setup is cookie cutter "evil empire of buckethead soldiers invade", the pacing absolutely glacial, and the characters bland to the point that most of them seem to be there as some sort of genre parody. It's not even comparatively good. FFX's story was a promising premise brought down by doofus characters. The plot was moderately original, the voice acting mostly decent, and it managed not to fall into the usual trap of incoherence by the third act. Hell, FF: Tactics' story was more nuanced than this, even with the infamously awful translation. Just like Penny Arcade's Tycho presents Puffy Shirt Guy and valedictorian speeches, the whole thing seems like a one big bag of trite bland with a thin concealer coat of thesaurus and Shakespeare cliff notes. No wonder Zseni loves it so much.[/quote]