Caltrops - Resident Evil 4





	[quote name="Rafiki"]Devoted fans of my posts will know that I bought and thoroughly enjoyed Resident Evil 4 for the Gamecube, but since that describes absolutely nobody reading this, <a href="http://www.caltrops.com/pointy.php?action=viewPost&pid=9996">here is a thread</a> where I discuss how awesome it is with forum celebrity all-star Fussbett, with special guest appearances by Jhoh, FABIO, and Mysterio. In what can be accurately described as a move of corporate cocksucking (sociology students and other faggy types might call it "affluenza"), I decided that Resident Evil 4 was so good <b><i>I bought it a second time</i></b>. This time for the Wii. In what I can only guess to be the case, Capcom decided to release Resident Evil 4: Wii edition after lackluster sales of Resident Evil 4: Nobody Owned a Gamecube Edition, Resident Evil 4: Underwhelming PS2 Edition, and Resident Evil 4: 3DFX Glide Edition. And while you might not think it's scientifically possible, go recheck your proofs, pointdexter, because RE4WE is BETTER than the Gamecube version. You'll start to notice how <i>much</i> better before you even pick it up off the shelf at the store because it's now $30. Put <i>that</i> in your calculator and graph it. Probably the best and second most obvious improvement is to the aiming system. You still have to hold down a button to raise your weapon, but the targetting reticule is now mapped to the Wiimote pointing ability. It works SO WELL that it retroactively makes the entire Gamecube game a pile of shit. It's no big deal to be mobbed by six or seven enemies anymore, because if you're good enough you can quickly cap them all in the EYES and send them stumbling long enough to roundhouse kick the entire group until their heads explode. And if you're from Quarter to Three: Chuck Norris LOL!! One of the places where the precision is most obvious is the shooting gallery. By the time I got to the third round, I expected the guy behind the counter to throw his hands up and say, "Oh for fuck's sake, you again? Look, just take all the rest of the prizes. <i>Christ.</i>" To top it off, the aiming reticule stays on the screen when you're not in firing mode so that when you do switch to firing mode you know exactly where your gun will be pointing. No more of that bullshit where you awkwardly fumble for a few seconds because your laser pointer wasn't in the exact spot you were expecting. Being able to aim better doesn't necessarily make the game any easier, though. I still died 13 times before I completed it despite knowing everything that was going to happen. The only thing that seemed to make it easier was the fact that enemies seemed to drop way, way more money. By the time I reached the first El Gigante fight, there was never a moment where I wasn't carrying a rocket launcher. I eventually became so cocky with my riches that I started buying and selling weapons just to reload ammo when I didn't have any in my inventory. I started to think maybe all the money on the infected poor people was the corporate face of Capcom trying to marginalize poverty so we'd stop donating to charity and buy more video games, but after <a href="http://www.oanda.com/convert/classic">doing some currency conversion</a> it turns out that 1000 pesetas is only, like, $8 US. This also means the merchant was selling rocket launchers for $300US. He must be living the dream of not paying his workers so he can pass the savings on to you, the customer. Other improvements include now running in widescreen with Gamecube graphics, all the extras from the PS2 version, and a trailer for Resident Evil for Umbrella Chronicles (it looks like House of the Dead and other shooters set in RE1-3 settings). That might not seem like a good enough reason to spend another $30 on a game you already own, but, honestly, the $30 was worth it just to get me to replay RE4 and remember how awesome and over the top it gets later in the game, like Ashley driving the superplow. It's also worth it just to flaunt how much more disposable income I have than you ($30 more WOW!). At the very least, even if you already own another version, you should rent the Wii version just to see how much better the aiming controls are and how every console game ever should copy them. And in an effort to reach out to the casual Wii gamer who might have accidentally clicked a link here in some kind of gaming goatse.cx prank, I'll sum up my thoughts here in a way you might more easily relate to: <b><i>This ain't your daddy's Resident Evil</i></b>[/quote]