Forum Overview :: Reviews :: So who's going to destroy The Darkness?

[quote name="Lizard_King"]I feel like a penguin trying to stop a runaway polar bear I knew a guy who used to live down here, Mickey Fat Lips... Paulie's a dead man unless he grows a beard and learns to speak swahili. Those quotes, mostly verbatim from the game load screens, sum up how I feel about it. I loved Chronicles of Riddick. I enjoy tentacle rape. But somehow the merger of the two ended up diminishing both halves. It probably would have been a better xbox 1 than 360 game, but it still would have suffered from some serious problems. The first is all of the technology they imported from 2002 for enemy ai and character behavior/animation. That's going to kick you in the balls right off the bat, but you're not going to feel it until you teleport to the secondary, poorly designed environment for some Dark Tower shenanigans. Much as I hate to reference Stephen King, somebody ripped somebody off when coming up with that shit. I don't care enough to find out who was first, but I will say that if you felt early PS2 war games were primitive, you've seen nothing yet. The combat can be fun, if you feel that god mode mixed with insta deaths is fun. Otherwise, you will survive on a steady diet of hearts and wannabe wop one-liners. Which brings me to my next comparison: Remember how Blood Omen was alright until you had to suck out the 500th schmoe's blood? Well, these clowns learned nothing from that model. To their credit, they took a far more limited minion management system than, say, Overlord, and made it painless to operate productively. And they manage to make walking extremely slowly in an FPS the least of their problems, so kudos all round. And it is graphically superior to many ps2 games, so if this is still a transitional period for you, you'll be ok. Conclusion: had you told me a year ago that a game where my dueling cocks fought over human body parts would not please me, I would have called you a fucking liar. Starbreeze did it anyway. Fuck this game, and fuck Bioshock and other future disappointments for not coming out yet and making me buy this. [/quote]