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Red Dead Revolver (PS2)
[quote name="Fussbett"]Capcom, releaser of Chaos Legion and [<i>Street Fighter vs. Everyone 3 joke</i>] decided to <b>cancel</b> this game in late production, after it had already shown at E3. Rockstar saw something they could polish. Buying it, finishing it, and releasing it on multiple platforms with a big advertising campaign no less. [quote name="Sam Houser of Rockstar Games"]We are all thrilled to have created a Western game that is different than anything Rockstar has done in the past.[/quote] This statement is true. Red Dead Revolver stands out by sucking far more than even the worst Rockstar game ever made. <table cellspacing=10><tr><td><img src="http://www.cjnetworks.com/~leis/album/beatles/revolver.gif"></img></td><td class="post">DEAD GRAPHICS<br><br>Low LOW down, dirty dog polygons. Rockstar tried to distract us with massive degenerating film effects and heatwave blur, but I can see through the haze. Crummy jaggy models with dull textures.</td></tr><tr><td><img src="http://www.cjnetworks.com/~leis/album/beatles/revolver.gif"></img></td><td class="post">DEAD ANIMATION<br><br>In this day when even a boxing game gets (and benefits greatly from) ragdoll physics, Red Dead Revolver was not content to merely have scripted death motions, but to also animate them as if they were one-joint Star Wars figures. Awkward, clunky and unsatisfying falls everywhere. </td></tr><tr><td><img src="http://www.cjnetworks.com/~leis/album/beatles/revolver.gif"></img></td><td class="post">DEAD GAMEPLAY<br><br>The most puzzling aspect of Red Dead Revolver is the gameplay itself. It plays like a web based Flash game. Move from gunfight to gunfight via cutscene, and then sweep your cursor over the landscape and fire at bad guys. There is a pretense of running your character around and hiding behind scenery. I guess you can do this in an attempt to wring more fun out of the game, but I didn't bother.</td></tr><tr><td><img src="http://www.cjnetworks.com/~leis/album/beatles/revolver.gif"></img></td><td class="post">DEAD RPG-Y MOMENTS<br><br>I almost stopped playing when they made me "play" a level that was nothing more than a cutscene driven by my button presses. Press SQUARE to talk to each passenger on the train? How emergently fun! This character tells me that there is a General Store in the next town! Fantastic! Finally I triggered the "next fight" flag seconds before I triggered the off switch flag.</td></tr><tr><td><img src="http://www.cjnetworks.com/~leis/album/beatles/revolver.gif"></img></td><td class="post">DEAD AI<br><br>The AI runs on rails to the point that I often wound up behind and enemy who kept poking his head out from cover and firing in the exact opposite direction from my position. My position beside his left ear. I guess if I had to compare the AI to another video game, I'd say... Bank Panic?</td></tr></table> In summary, this game is bad. Rockstar tried to dress it up with their in-game packaging, and it almost works. I was very much in the mood to play a western game after the flashy front-end and intro. The Morricone soundtrack doesn't hurt either. Hell, Rockstar knows the baggy pants kids better than I. Maybe it's cool to slowly push a crosshair over an enemy and watch him do the same canned death animation AGAIN. However, after enduring Red Dead Revolver's shootouts, performing a similar feat in Far Cry feels like I'm playing on super advanced alien technology, one hundred years in the future (overseen by benevolent Speilberg aliens). I'm sure the baggy pantsers prefer anything in 2004 over Red Dead Revolver too.[/quote]