Forum Overview :: Motherfucking News :: Hey, I'm back! (from Peru)

[quote name="I need clarification"]So, did anything happen while I was gone? Because I left strict instructions for nothing to happen. Peru is great, if you like impoverished third world countries full of people who can't wait until you turn your back so they can knife you and then steal your backpack. We went to: Lima - dirtiest city in the world, with only the "somewhat" Santa Monica-like Miraflores district to visit (which we did, three days out of three) Cuzco - 3200m, we were gasping a little bit when we first got there, but by day 3 it's not so bad. It kind of makes ICJ look like a pussy for complaining about Colorado so much. Machu Picchu - this place is awesome Sacred Valley of the Incas - the tour guides insist on rewriting history. Apparently, it was a PERUVIAN who discovered Machu Picchu, two years before Hiram Bingham did, but he was "too poor to tell anyone about it." Also, all the heavy stones were apparently moved up to their mountainous perches by Incan "workers," and not "jungle slaves." Puerto Maldonado - gateway to the Peruvian Amazon. Our local guide there insisted on taking us to the "market," that had been hyped for an entire week but turned out to be a bunch of disgusting, dirty Peruvians sitting around trying to sell tourists flashlights and blenders. Amazon jungle - this was cool. We saw: monkeys, turtles, caimans, an anaconda (!!), and a tapir that actually walked into the dining room during dinner our last night (disgustingly). We did not see: pumas. I bought some alpaca stuff for family and myself (and Mrs. INC, of course). All of our tour guides were completely gay, and they were okay with that so so were we. It meant they only took us to awesome restaurants in Cuzco, and also brought their boyfriends to the jungle with them. Anyway: positivo![/quote]