Caltrops - Peter Molyneux's The Movies





	[quote name="Flurgendorf J. Creexul"]<font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:45:35 PM): NIN-BURN.MP3 <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:46:13 PM): im going to make an art project where i show columbine videos with burn as the soundtrack <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:46:17 PM): and it will be very deep <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:46:24 PM): ill turn it in for college art class <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:46:45 PM): ill be wearing all black <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:46:47 PM): with black makeup <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:46:53 PM): and a t-shirt that says "faggot fuck" <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:48:05 PM): It is a reference to that wonderful movie, Falling Down. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:48:21 PM): falling down is my favorite movie <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:48:27 PM): he just walks around city busting fuckers heads <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:48:35 PM): he is like "YOU SIR, ARE A FUCKER" <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:48:39 PM): andhe vaporizes him <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:49:08 PM): I am going to make FALLING DOWN 2 <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:49:18 PM): where two guys have mental breakdowns at opposite ends of LA <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:49:30 PM): and they both carve a path of destruction towards the center of the city <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:50:31 PM): its like this total dbz battle <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:50:37 PM): these dudes are so pissed and equally matched <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:50:44 PM): they are like flying through the air at the speed of light <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:50:52 PM): and you just see huge shockwaves knock over buildings <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:50:59 PM): and the police are like "UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:51:07 PM): Awesome. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:51:14 PM): SO WHY DON'T YOU DRAW THAT <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:51:55 PM): he is like talking to some guy in the parking lot, and he says "YOUR FIRED" and he shoots him in the face so hard he flys back into this gasoline store <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:52:01 PM): and the whole store turns into a nuclear blast <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:52:10 PM): Yes, that is what all movies should have. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:52:24 PM): bad boys 2 was lame <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:52:27 PM): it wasn't as good as the song <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:52:34 PM): it was because some white guy was directing it <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:52:40 PM): I heard that song in my sleep some time a few days ago or something. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:52:47 PM): they needed to get a black guy that loves kung fu movies to direct it <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:52:59 PM): It needed more offscreen killing of innocent women and children. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:53:19 PM): they totally missed an opportunity in the final fight <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:54:03 PM): they where standing outside of the us embassy and he could have shot the bad guy, so he goes flying back onto us soil, and will smith turns around as the bad guy is flying in mid air and goes "WELCOME TO AMERICA" and the bad guy goes "noooooooooooooooo!" and falls on the landmine which totally explodes <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:54:05 PM): A bad guy is shot to death so much he is spraying blood from his mouth and then he falls into a minefield. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:54:24 PM): That's kind of gay. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:54:35 PM): you see he is standing outside of the embassy in my version <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:54:40 PM): and smith shoots him into the embassy <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:54:44 PM): so he is brought to justice on US soil <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:55:17 PM): He flies backwards into the embassy? <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:55:20 PM): And does it explode? <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:55:24 PM): and the mine explosion was totally subdued and realistic <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:55:33 PM): He gets shot in the face and does like 50 backflips in slow motion. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:55:45 PM): So did the mine rip his face off? <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:55:48 PM): no <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:55:49 PM): Was he Arabic or something? <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:55:52 PM): it blows his upper body off <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:55:55 PM): he was cuban <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:56:01 PM): And therefore apparently deserving in American culture of such a realistic death? <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:56:21 PM): that movie generally wasn't over the top enough <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:56:32 PM): it felt like he was trying to be over the top but he didn't know how because he is a white dork <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:56:46 PM): That's kwear <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:56:57 PM): The bad guy should've been Arabic, in these post 9/11 times! <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:57:11 PM): Don't you think that would make a great movie bad guy? <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:57:37 PM): some tank slowly drives into the tel aviv bus stop, and you hear a muffled explosion and smoke seeps out of the cockpit and you realized what happened <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:58:11 PM): open up the hatch and there is just a coating of liquified murderer guts all over the inside <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:58:17 PM): YAY <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (1:58:39 PM): thats why the arabs don't use tanks <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:58:52 PM): Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are transferred as Israel, and they single-handedly stop Palestinian terrorism... for good. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:59:16 PM): There is a scene where Will and Martin throw away their badges and say IF WE'RE GONNA GET THESE MUTHAFUCKAS WE GOTTA DO IT OUR WAY. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:59:40 PM): Then the next scene is them going up to the house of known terrorist leaders. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (1:59:47 PM): And they are like HACHAHCHAHEAHCHAHAE? <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:00:13 PM): And then da BAD BOYZ open fire and hit some guy in the turban, the back of it explodes spraying blood all over his family. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:00:47 PM): And then the family is like HOW COULD YOU DO THIS (in Arabic) and they get the AK-47s and explosives (and probably some heroin or cocaine which they taste to prove it's real) and go SEE? <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:01:12 PM): They get the AKs = the Bad Boys do I mean. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:01:23 PM): As they are searching the house for proof of terrorism. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:01:27 PM): yes <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:01:30 PM): terrorismeverywhere <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:01:42 PM): And then the next part is a totally hard rockin rock montage of them storming terrorists houses and shooting people and finding evil drugs and guns. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:01:52 PM): like in metal slug <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:01:54 PM): Yes. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:02:00 PM): they are riding camels <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:02:13 PM): and tearing through wave after wave of terrorist shithole with vulcan cannons <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:02:16 PM): And then after the montage they are going up to a house all usual like and then suddenly a car in front of them explodes from an RPG fired at it from the house, and they're like WOA!!!!!!!!!! NIGGAAAAAAAAA <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:02:27 PM): And it turns out inside the house is like the leader of Hamas or some shit. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:02:43 PM): wait <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:02:45 PM): when the car explodes <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:02:46 PM): And then they go in disguise as Arabic women with the beekeeper outfits. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:02:50 PM): it goes into slow motion <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:02:54 PM): Yes. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:02:59 PM): And perhaps bullet time? <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:03:04 PM): and it playis this "bummer" guitar music where the dude wont let up off of the wammy bar <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:03:13 PM): Yes, like in The Rock. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:03:35 PM): The guitar goes WHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR bending the low note further down. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:03:47 PM): Like a chainsaw slowing down. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:04:03 PM): and then they turn around in slow motion and look at the hamas dude, and the hamas guy is like "OH SHEEET I DONE MESSED WITH THE WRONG MOTHER FUCKERS" <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:04:10 PM): Hhrewhrhhrehwhre. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:04:33 PM): Will sees him or something and that's how he points out YO THAT'S THE LEADER OF HAMAS AN SHIT (NIGGA) <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:04:53 PM): Then Martin is like "YO I GOT A IDEA DAWG." <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:05:07 PM): And then they're wearing the beekeeper outfits (even though it's like 100 degrees) and they go into the house. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:05:38 PM): Then they throw off the beekeeper outfits and they have a machine gun in each hand and they're like BAD BOYZ BAD BOYZ WATCHA GONNA DOO <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:06:06 PM): Then the Arabic dude starts gargling something in his incoherent language and the Bad Boyz open fire while diving through the air and they kill all the terrorists. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:06:08 PM): yeS! <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:06:44 PM): Except the leader, he escapes out the back so there can be a car chase, then a helicopter chase, then a showdown in the desert where they're like NAH DON'T SHOOT HIM IT AIN'T WURF IT DAWG <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:06:58 PM): But then the bad guy pulls a gun and they both blow him away so much that there's nothing left of him but a red paste. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:07:13 PM): YES <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:07:20 PM): this red streak across the sand <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:07:44 PM): then wha <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:08:09 PM): i think the final showdown should be in mecca <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:08:29 PM): so the guy dies along with the entire religion of islam <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:08:48 PM): Yes. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:08:55 PM): There's like a Pope of Islam there. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:09:11 PM): And Martin gets wounded, like shot in the shoulder. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:09:24 PM): And Will is like held at gunpoint, and he's like WELL I GUESS DIS IS IT DAWG <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:09:31 PM): WE RIDE TOGETHA, WE DIE TOGETHA... BAD BOYS FOR LIFE! <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:09:33 PM): Dramatic music. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:09:41 PM): (will islam win?) <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:09:52 PM): And then it shows Martin was hiding a grenade and he's like YO I GOT SUMFIN TO PUT DEES SISSIES ON BLASS WILL or whatever. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:10:03 PM): Or Mike Lawry I guess is his character name. :( <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:10:20 PM): He throws the grenade, it heads towards the center of Mecca, at that big stone outhouse or whatever the FUCK it is. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:10:40 PM): i have a better idea <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:10:42 PM): And then all the Arabic dudes are like HALAHBLALBLAHBALLABLALBHA and running towards the grenade. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:10:49 PM): he has like one of those laser guns that paints a target for airstrike <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:10:55 PM): and the airforce is like WHERE ARE YOU <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:11:08 PM): They all dive on it, it explodes sending their body parts flying everywhere, and it also blasts a big hole in that stone outhouse, and the leader of Islam is on the other side so it collapses on him. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:11:16 PM): While he screams and there's a closeup of his face. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:11:24 PM): i like the airstrike idea better <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:11:31 PM): tehre has never been an airstrike painter in a movie yet <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:11:33 PM): Oh yeah that is good. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:11:37 PM): they could explain it in the beginning <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:11:40 PM): he has like this laser gun <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:11:44 PM): it is his last weapon <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:11:47 PM): When the leader of Islam dude dies though there should definitely be a closeup of him and whatever is killing him. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:11:57 PM): Yes. <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:12:09 PM): And then it ends up being his downfall when it's used to lase him for an airstrike. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:12:25 PM): the us airforce comes flying <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:12:26 PM): in formation <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:12:35 PM): and nukes the shit out of mecca and the leader of islam <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:12:49 PM): and then when the dust is settling it starts playing the theme song for that movie <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:12:56 PM): and then next is a montage of celebration scenes <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:12:59 PM): But at the beginning there's a dramatic scene at Mecca where he's going on in a big dramatic speech about how Allah has blessed them with this new weapon which they will use to burn out the heart of the infidel, and as an example he vaporizes one of his own dudes, and then everyone goes ALALALALALALLLAALLA and shit which is their way of cheering I guess. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:13:14 PM): and the preisdent lowers the terror threat level to blue because there is no more terrorism <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:13:20 PM): Ever. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:13:20 PM): and they get medals and shit <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:13:34 PM): YOU HAVE SINGLE HANDEDLY STOPPED TERRORISM ON EARTH <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:13:40 PM): jesus christ <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:13:45 PM): So they get the Silver Star or some shitty medal no one would recognize. <font color="#f5b8b9"><b>s10</b></font> (2:13:50 PM): we should pitch this to bruckheimer <font color="#aeb5ff"><b>Jhoh Cable</b></font> (2:13:53 PM): Yes.[/quote]