Caltrops - Peter Molyneux's The Movies





	[quote name="i Must tear out My eyes!!!"]Oh lordy. You cannot say enough bad things about those fucking films. 1. Flight of the Osiris. Pretty graphics. Everybody dies. Those stop motion revolving shots kinda lose their impact when they're not catching a real filmed dude in midair. No loving pan over the black guy's ass as he's depantsed? 2. Second Renaissance. Oh the poor innocent robots! Look at man's inhumanity to robots! See the destruction and devastation! "Beedybeedybeedy! Don't bash my head in, Buck!" I feel so guilty. No wait. I don't. It was the super <strike>preachy</strike> sensitive anime artists who thought up all these gruesome ways of raping and slaughtering machines, not me. I'd have just hit the "off" button. And if basing the robot's capital city in Iraq was supposed to be some subtle symbolism, it totally failed. 3. Second Renaissance pt 2. Okay, so several nuke bombs were dropped on the machines, but they were unharmed because machines arent killed by radiation. Huh? Did people in the future decide to stop making bombs that produced a huge fucking destructive explosion and instead make pure fallout bombs? Not to mention the big fucking EMP wave given off by a nuke? Ask an anime artist what the ultimate weapon of destuction is and their answer is invariably: tentacles. 4. Kid's Story. Least awful of the bunch by virtue of being completely blah. 5. Some samurai bullshit So learning to fight against 16th century feudal japanese soldiers is an important lesson for people plugging into the 1999-era matrix? (chris rock) You're tellin' me a guy says he wants to go back to being a black man in 1999 new york and she doesn't immediately realize it's bullshit? (/chris rock) 6. Some running bullshit. One of the worst of the bunch. Ugly too. Why are so many agents involved in keeping the signal of one guy stable? Why not make him drop dead of a heart attack then flush the body? 7. Haunted House bullshit I'm assuming a point isn't necessary to the story when you're making a deep artistic statement. Nice ass crack on Underaged Jem. 8. Detective Crap You know, I just realized there's more to what makes noir enjoyable than fedoras and a black and white color scheme. So how does an ace detective track down a notorious computer hacker in a chat room? "Any 133+ h4x0rz h3r3?????????" 9. Matriculated (ooh! aren't we clever!) Actually seemed like an interesting concept at first (put machines into their own matrix where they love humanity) turned into psychadelic bullshit. Isn't there a more efficient means of fighting the machines than putting 10 people and a monkey in mortal danger to spend 5 hours teaching love to a robot whose primary advantage seems to be its long grabby arms? Ha ha! Only 7 years to go and we'll have an army to give the machines the wost tickle torture of their nightmares! Did they replace the LEDs in the robots eyes with green ones, or do the machines include that feature just in case one of their number stops being evil? This, of course, was the final straw. I'm never watching anime again.[/quote]