Caltrops - Article Submissions





	[quote name="Jhoh Creexul"]The previous portions will be in the quotes, and the fixed ones will be under them. And yes, I did go through some other parts with questionable grammar, but in a few cases I decided to leave them as they were. I only want to fix the grammar unless it just totally does not make any motherfucking sense. [quote]That should be a clue that it's time to give up your day job as a self-important video game plot writer and go sell pencils and string on the street corner, or wash people's windsheilds at the red lights.[/quote] The word windshield needs to be fixed here actually, so that should be it for that. [quote]This game hinges entirely upon the writing. The only part of this game that actually resembles a game is when it occasionally stops spewing platatudes at you[/quote] The word is platitudes. But I looked up the definition to really make sure that it's right, and I laughed openly. "A trite or banal remark or statement, especially one expressed as if it were original or significant." RRHURHRURHRRHRH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [quote]Some of the effects of attacks during battle are absurd though. Some characters throw flower petals or important looking ancient text at their enemies, or binary code. Seeing this fly around when you hit an enemy really degrades the effect of fucking up some bad guys.[/quote] I just want to add one word to this: Some of the effects of attacks during battle are absurd though. Some characters throw flower petals or important looking ancient text at their enemies, or binary code. Seeing this <b>shit</b> fly around when you hit an enemy really degrades the effect of fucking up some bad guys. And in bold like that too. [quote]Every female character in this game either wears a skirt, which the designers have indeed created something up that skirt other than some stretched out polygons to block the view. Either they wear that skirt and like it, or they have no skirt and basically wear some kind of skin tight one-piece thong suit.[/quote] This part needed huge fuckin help. This part is the best possible example of grammar that NEEDS to be fixed. I definitely gave it that help, see here: Every female character in this game wears a skirt, and the designers have indeed created something up that skirt other than some stretched out polygons to block the view. Either they wear that skirt and like it, or they have no skirt and basically wear some kind of skin tight one-piece thong suit. That is better. [quote]This will probably be the biggest selling point of this entire game. Everyone knows the story sucks, but whenever MOMO, the android girl with the appearance of a 12 year old girl (to sort of disguise her, the game alleges) shows up in a cutscene, you can usually see her kneel down and show a flash of bright white and obvious panties under her extremely short skirt.[/quote] I want to add a part to this, plus a little fixing. This will probably be the biggest selling point of the entire game. Everyone knows the story sucks, but whenever MOMO, the android girl with the appearance of a 12 year old girl (to sort of disguise her, the game alleges) shows up in a cutscene, you can usually see her kneel down and show a flash of bright white, obvious panties under her extremely short skirt, and that will sell copies more than the story will. Yes, "obvious panties" sounds like bad grammar. But: I insist that it makes sense in some kind of bizarre Creexul world where people talk like aliens. In my language, "obvious panties" means that you can't mistake them for anything but panties. If anyone really wants to bitch, change "obvious" to "unmistakable." Like this. This will probably be the biggest selling point of the entire game. Everyone knows the story sucks, but whenever MOMO, the android girl with the appearance of a 12 year old girl (to sort of disguise her, the game alleges) shows up in a cutscene, you can usually see her kneel down and show a flash of bright white, unmistakable panties under her extremely short skirt, and that will sell copies more than the story will. Here's something from later in the same paragraph: [quote]The reason why this is here is because the anime creators know there are a lot of pedophiles out there who want to see a 12 year old with big cute eyes and a cute pert nose sexualized as much as possible, but still have a perfectly good excuse for it.[/quote] Here's a fixed up version. The reason this is here is because the game's creators (like most anime creators) know there are a lot of pedophiles out there who want to see a 12 year old with big cute eyes and a cute pert nose being sexualized as much as possible, while having a perfectly good excuse for it. At the end of the same paragraph: [quote]Save it for the Devil, motherfucker, because the court of Crimes Against Humanity is sentencing you to a quick and painful execution. Shot to death on the lawn of the White House.[/quote] I forgot this one little detail. Save it for the Devil, motherfucker, because the court of Crimes Against Humanity is sentencing you to a quick and painful execution. Shot in the face on the lawn of the White House. I guess I couldn't say "shot in the face to death." Even I know when grammar is too bad. ;-; [quote]They released a lot of weird news about this game, in order to build interest for it. I remember reading that Xenosaga was planned as the PS2's first double-sided DVD disc, it was so expansive! This was an incredibly weak lie.[/quote] They released a lot of weird news about this game, in order to build interest for it. I remember reading that Xenosaga was planned as the PS2's first double-sided DVD disc, it was so expansive! <b>Wow!!!!!!!!</b> This was an incredibly weak lie. [quote]Unfortunately for everyone involved, the scene really was objectionable, featuring a 12 year old girl getting her uterus fisted (see screenshot) by the main villian, in a scene that goes on way way longer than it should and also includes enough moaning and sexual gratification from the villian ("It feels so good")[/quote] A few things. First, I realized that the screenshot of the dude with white hair thrusting his hand into MOMO's underage android tum-tum;-; should be next to this paragraph. There is already a pic next to this paragraph, but not that one. Just switch them around. ^_^ Also, I want to clearly state here that the quoted part in the parenthesis here is a real quote from the game. I looked up the translation on GameFAQs, and here's the scene according to the translation on GameFAGGOTS. [quote name="GAME FAGS TRANSLATION"] JR. SHUT UP. Just the words of someone so easily polluted by U-Du and who's now running wild. SHION Jr.... ALBEDO Polluted? No... Evolved! At that time, I knew just a fraction of our power. The force that flew into me, is now a part of me! Not like the fragmented existence of the rest of you! I am a perfect current of consciousness! JR. S-- Stop it!! ALBEDO (moving his arm back and forth inside MOMO) But it feels so good!! Don't you want to try it, too!? JR. MOMO! (shoots Albedo twice, blowing off his head, which is then regenerated)[/quote] Just in case you people weren't convinced that this game is retarded from my review. :( Anyway, here's what I want the thing changed to: Unfortunately for everyone involved, the scene really was objectionable, featuring a 12 year old girl getting her uterus fisted (see screenshot) by the main villian, in a scene that goes on way way longer than it should and also includes enough moaning and sexual gratification from the villian (actual line: "It feels so good!") And finally. [quote]Some of the creepiest motherfuckers you could ever regret meeting, even if it's on a message board on the internet. There isn't a single brain cell to rub between them, except for the brain cells that control how importantly they consider themselves.[/quote] "Importantly" here could probably just be "important." I don't know, does it matter that much?[/quote]