Forum Overview :: Gamerasutra :: Zseni wins!

[quote name="fok"][quote name="Zseni"]No it's not. Christ you people are nerds. What the fuck could possibly be nerdier than comparing <i>quantitatively</i> which of you is the biggest nerd? You're all fired, you Cheetos-breathed pit-stained patched-jeans fags. A day in the life of Zseni? I rise at a luxurious late hour, settle into a brunch of almost painful excellence, sun myself for a while as the Italian cabana boy massages me with coconut oil, and then I decide whether people live or die for the next six hours. At the end of work I'm just <i>pooped</i> so I work off the stress by punching any of the mentally handicapped people whom I gainfully employ to act as human Weebles. Then a trio of redheaded Valkyries cushion my weary head against their A+ hooters and sigh lovingly over my weary and almost excruciatingly important carcass. Ahhhh, naptime. Arising in the late evening I fuck around with the yaoi girls just for a change of pace as the remaining 99.999999937% of my brainpower is hooked <i>directly into the Core Earth Machine</i> and I adjust the rotation, spin, acceleration, and solar distance of the planet we all reside on. I like to finish the evening off by performing a couple of organ transplants on poverty-stricken yet loveable young moppets (my "thank you" teddy bear collection is immense.) Then it is night - I gaze at the stars, clearing the sky by force if necessary, as the Valkyries lightly caress my powerful limbs and feed me caviare off their nipples. I dictate poetry to my scribe (who then markets it under a variety of pseudonyms - if you live in Sweden you've heard most of them.) A light supper of the blood of the unchristened and a salad, usually mixed wild greens; I then begin ingesting the fabulous amounts of alcohol necessary to bludgeon my lightning-quick and tireless intellect into bodily submission for sleep. Ten thousand eight hundred and seventeen years have passed in this same manner, and all that changes is the cabana boy and the quality of the caviare. Atlantis sinks, Rome falls, the Mongols swarm over Europe, the Japs swarm over China - all the while I cut the threads of fate and hem the fabric of space-time. <b>My most recent hobby is acquiring anime.</b>[/quote] The only true statement in this post is the nerdiest yet. (Though the entire thing has a definite Renaissance Festival vibe going on.) <small>and yes, we are fired. But Zseni is equally fired: though she sees that we are nerds, she doesn't see it about herself, which is nerdier still. </small>[/quote]