Caltrops - Rants





	[quote name="Zseni"]1. Stepto Met him at a lan party, though I was sort of in semi-masquerade as a lurker at OMM (and long-time admirer.) I like big guys and Stepto is definitely that, and the fact that he just can't fucking aim is a huge turn on to a sore loser like me. He was okay! But nothing to write home about. Quick finisher, not packing anything you'd get surprised at either way. 2. Umberto Yes, I did Umberto too and no, I didn't smell V's cunt on him. Same lan party. He's old and skinny, which I hate, and while a charming bedroom conversationalist he was one of those guys who has the idea that he's much better in bed than he actually is and wants you to know it. Juuuuust under the Standard Six and a moaner - high-pitched wails which killed my boner totally dead. 3. Chet This one happened at his hotel at E3 in 2001. Now you know why the bad blood between us is so strong. He hated it in retrospect, and to be fair I was really pushy about doing some weird stuff that he wasn't really into. You'd think Chet would be all gung-ho on a rape fantasy but I guess not so much when he's being asked, or told, really, to rape <i>me</i>. Not a talker, dead silent in the sack when he figured I was too distracted to need the "yeah I'm gonna stick it to you now, bitch" litany, and it was dark so I couldn't really see what he was packing. I'd say he wasn't stretching nothin', but he'd tell you I have a cunt like a gutted fish. It was enough for one of us, I guess. Sorry Chet! 4. SB Ran up to visit him and V when they were still living in Seattle except V wasn't there (oops.) This is one of the many reasons SB would actually listen to me when I told him how crazy is was (and is) when he was so apt at writing off everyone else. He was tremendously eager to please at first, which quickly turned into sulking implications that I could be doing a little more to please him. I have to give him credit for being more than willing to try anything I could come up with and follow through thoroughly. Another average dong, I guess that's why they call 'em average, but thick, and a way excited comer. Like a jackhammer. Too skinny and pale for my tastes though and easy to overpower. 5. Mischief Maker Actually a woman! I promised men, and I also promised her I wouldn't tell, but what the hell. It's not like you have my current mailing address or anything. MM was a lot of fun, very generous, very cuddly. I can't really say bad things about girls who go to bed with me because I basically do like women's bodies more than men's, or at least I don't see a naked girl and immediately pinpoint 50,000 faults. MM is a plush girl. Some girls have full baskets and MM is one of them. She was very sweet and if I had to re-do anyone on the list, MM is the far and away leader. Congrats, honey! Really soft hair, some of the finest softest hair I've ever come across, jesus MM if you ever want someone to be your live-in hair-brusher I'll be that person. [/quote]