Forum Overview :: Rants :: Oh my god, who are you and what have you done with Ray?

[quote name="Zseni"][quote name="Ray of Light"][quote name="Zseni on Windows XP :("]My mother eats beef jerky. She also likes those little snack pepperonis made out of pig hearts or whatever. Also: the whole fucking female population on the Atkins diet is chowing that shit down. [/quote] You're contradicting me(!) with a fem-jerky-fondness index of 50%, sample size two, margin of error plus or minus 50%, hrm? That proves nothing except which of us here is the woman.[/quote] It's true, Ray: I have the cunt. But you have the estrogen. Look at you, splitting hairs, picking through the <i>numbers</i>, making sloppy inferences which barely conceal dated lines - "oh Zseni yo momma so fat, she half the females on the planet right now"... Meanwhile I'm recalling the epic deeds of heroes in ages past and smartly contradicting you with some solid traditional wisdom about guyhood and galhood and you reply: [quote][quote]Frugality is MACHO? Inasmuch as the great battle lords throughout history traded on their outrageous generosity and the hallmark of a gentleman, so it is said, is to provide employment for the working class, and you are here before me priding yourself on stretching your homosexual dollars? Fuck your gay little group purchasing decisions. You're practically wearing housedresses, absentmindedly ironing and wondering if it's too late to slip the hubby's martini into the freezer before he gets home.[/quote] I know one thing that ISN'T macho, and that is figuring out what in hell you're saying here. You seem to be supporting my case with examples, then tearing it down by dressing me in a feminine vignette. [/quote] "Oooooo Zseni, men don't <i>like</i> things that are <i>difficult</i>. I can't read all that! I'll get <i>tired</i>!" I don't mean this as a cheap shot, but are you actually George W. Bush? You're glib with figures, more up-to-date with marketing research than sexual politics, fast to support clumsy reasoning and short attention spans as The Team's Assets, and protest enormously about any miscategorization that goes on regarding little ole you... I just think that if you aren't actually the President, you should probably be running. [quote]Though baffled, I will say that dollars aren't the only thing I can stretch, current flappy company excepted.[/quote] Are you talking about cunts? Why can't you just say "cunts"? What's up with the coy inferences? Men aren't good with inferences. They like things simple and straightforward, like intercourse without foreplay and beanie weenies. Right? Weren't you just protesting sentences earlier that you could barely keep up with a line of reasoning right out of Burroughs (Edgar Rice)? And here you are just <i>assuming</i> that whatever the fuck your point is, it'll be readily apparent to the Guys? I see. That kind of trust comes naturally to you. Men understand each other, don't they, sugar. Yeah they do. You can console each other about how mean and insensitive those awful Women are and then have life-affirming buttsex where you each know everything the other guy likes because, you know, you're <i>guys</i>. Understanding guys who understand each other. [quote]That you know nothing whatsoever about women is only gravy on the faggot sammich[/quote] Oh, @*~tee-hee!*~@!! That's a bold claim to come from Zseni-<i>Hi, I'm Zseni and I know scads about men from my time spent shacking up with an anime character and wanting a penis.</i>-jeim. Also, that's not gravy. Ray![/quote] You can laugh at my yaoi fixation and my penis, Ray!, but at least I'm not a closet case who was mandated into office by Daddy's friends. I've earned everything I have and I'm not ashamed of the things and people I love. You can make fun of me, Ray! - you can even invite your little friends to make fun of me - but don't call yourself a Manly Man when you're using articles from American Demographics to agree with my point. Have some jerky and quit worrying so much about what other people think of you.[/quote]