Forum Overview :: =( :: Re: I appreciate the advice, everyone.

[quote name="Mischief Shai-hulud"]Well all joking aside, that thing your mother said about you not being <I>that kind</I> of man has been sticking in my mind the last couple days. I recall a story of you rescuing your mom from an abusive boyfriend by beating his ass with a fence picket. Maybe you have some kind of deep-seated hangup about risking becoming <I>that kind</I> of man by being sexually assertive with women, and that's what's really choking you up? Like I said, it's out of my pay grade and probably something you should talk with a professional about, group or no group, but if that is the case I think all the advice in the world about how to mingle and what to say would still get short-circuited by that kind of issue. Now back to the fun part: [quote name="Jerry Whorebach"]Here's an anecdote that would be more at home in a Gene Wilder movie than real life. One evening last summer, a girl stopped me on a bridge. She was exotic, Indian maybe, slender, with a black pony tail that went all the way down her back. The lights were off in the German Hall, and from where we were standing we could see someone moving around inside with a flashlight. She asked me if I'd like to go investigate with her. I said I'd love to... but I had somewhere I needed to be. The first part was true - I love investigations! And I bet I'd love girls, too, if I got to know one. Only the second part was a lie: I've never needed to be anywhere in my life. I took off and finished my run, metaphorically kicking myself with every step, then went home and fell asleep on the couch watching cartoons. I'm absolutely convinced that no matter how badly that experience could have gone, it would've at least made a better story than an episode of Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Even one with Aquaman in it. I feel like I'm standing on the precipice of change, I just need to push myself over the edge. But not in a desperate psycho way.[/quote] Maybe you did it for the wrong reasons, but you absolutely made the right call in this case. Just because you're buff doesn't mean strange women can't be dangerous. A six-pack won't stop a bullet. Best case scenario someone was fumbling around for the circuit breaker and would have yelled at you two to get the fuck out after you surprised them. Moderate chance scenario the girl was a sheltered princess who didn't realize the danger she was exposing the two of you to, and you were about to surprise a burglar, who maybe had a gun. Worst case scenario that was her pimp waiting in the building and she was leading you into an ambush. I give that situation a less-than-1% chance of turning into Scooby-Doo hyjinx. Maybe you could have said something like, "Nah, too spooky for me, but you wanna grab a drink with me someplace where the lights work?" but otherwise this was not a scenario to kick yourself over. This is basic Dale Carnegie, but the best thing to talk to strange women about is themselves. After small-talk's done, curiosity about her is a good default. Not only because all people like talking about themselves, but also for your own safety. Women are wonderful but an individual woman can be a cunt and it's best to figure that out before you let her get her hands on the most vulnerable part of your anatomy.[/quote]