Forum Overview :: Dwarf Fortress :: I have a patreon.

[quote name="Jerry Whorebach"]It's called welfare and you're all paying for it. Here's what your money bought you today. 10:00 am - Woke up. Hundred push-ups. 10:20 am - Breakfast. All out of groceries. Found a dozen hot cross buns in the freezer. Happy Easter, gentiles! ~2200 calories. 11:00 am - Four mile run. 12:00 pm - Workshopped a monologue about The Predator. Right now it's just an excuse to sneer "Glordon, from the bank," but after another pass or two I think it's going to fly. Or at least give me license to wear a mesh shirt. 1:00 pm - Groceries. It was a beautiful day so I walked to the Shoppers Drug Mart across town (I don't want the one near my apartment catching on to how hard I'm exploiting the Optimum rewards program). Twenty-four bottles of Diet Pepsi and twenty-one tins of tuna for $30.75. And thanks to digital e-promotions, that transaction netted me 8000 Optimum points (equivalent to $14.30 in store credit at my current redemption level). There is no conceivable way they're not losing money every time they see me. 6:00 pm - <font color="yellow">Caltrops.</font> I'm not going to get into this because it's the part of the story you already know. 7:00 pm - Try to remember where I put the spear I found on Tim Horton's birthday so I can patrol the streets for crime as hooded vigilante. Or forget it and go get super laid. Better make up my mind quick. BONUS: Unfinished monologue about The Predator. [quote]The thing about The Predator is, we only see him when he's on vacation. I'm sure most days he wears a tie and works a regular 9-5 job like everyone else on Predatoria. It's only in the summer, when the weather gets unusually hot, that he takes the space shuttle to space Fire Island - Earth - and for once lets his dreads down. He pulls on his mesh tank top, zips up his cloacaless chaps, and suddenly he's not "Glordon, from the bank" anymore, he's the S E X U A L P R E D A T O R, here to turn our buffest dudes inside out. That movie would be so empowering if it didn't end in suicide![/quote][/quote]