Forum Overview :: Reviews :: Eh, fuck this game!

[quote name="Mischief Maker"]Even at hardcore the difficulty its a complete pushover, the only difference is if my attention wanders out of boredom, the enemies one-hit-kill me. The weird thing is, there are dozens of enemies, and all of them are zero threat, except for the slime monsters. They need to be dizzied in order to do any appreciable damage, even with defense maxed out their attacks fuck your lifebar in the ass, and if you try to jump over them they shoot a gigantic spike that knocks you out of the sky. If the game designer spread these powers out among the enemies you'd have the makings of a great brawler, but in its current state, just do an aerial spin attack to create a flurry of magic missiles that wipe out all the regular enemies on the screen so you can take the singular slime enemy on mano-e-mano, which is really dull. And FUCK YOU PLOT! I goddamn hate games that dish out violence on an invisible rail, rewarding me with point and XP bonuses for beating up the enemies mercilessly, then when I kill the first boss the game does an about face and says, "YOU MONSTER! ALL THOSE HUNDREDS OF ENEMIES YOU JUST KILLED HAD A MOTHER! DID YOU <I>ENJOY</I> KILLING THEM, YOU SICK FUCK?!!" Go to Hell, videogame, you're not going to broaden my horizons with this furry bullshit. However, I tried the demo for <A HREF="http://www.valdisstory.com/">Valdis Story</A> today. While not nearly as pretty as Dust, so far it seems to deliver on the brawler + metroidvania promise much much better. All the enemy types are a threat in their own way, there are mechanics in place to punish button-mashing, and considering I'm beating up skull-faced blood-obsessed demons, I doubt the game has any finger-waggling in store for me, though it's not completely out of the question. I especially like how on higher difficulties the enemies bust out completely new moves. The graphics seem to have a hot topic goth doll vibe to them, but when the alternatives are furries and little girls in tea party outfits I'll gladly rock out with Count Gothy McDark.[/quote]