Forum Overview :: Rants :: Tube is the biggest piece of shit on the internet! Look at this guy!

[quote name="Souffle of Pain"]This is incredible. Someone link him to this thread. He made his own quirky "<a href="http://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/73711/no-you-cannot-have-your-name-changed">FAQ</a>" about getting a username changed. [quote]Can I Get My Name Changed? No! Not under any circumstances! Aww, but why? Because if I allow people to PM me for name changes, <b>it is literally the only thing I have time to do.</b>You should have chosen the name you wanted at registration. Think hard about it, because once you have the name it is not getting changed. I don't care if your name is Mr Clown and your parents get killed by a clown and every time you see your name you sick up in your mouth and start crying and you inhale the sick through your sobs and choke and spew blood up onto your monitor. You should have thought of that eventuality before you registered. <b>Oh well, I guess I'll just make a new account with the name I want... Right, you can do that. But if you do, and we find out, both your accounts will be banned.</b> Aww man... Yeah I know, but we're not clogging the servers with accounts just because you wanted to take the umlaut out of your name[/quote] CLOGGING THE SERVERS! I want Tube to tell us when the last time he ran a vacuum analyze on the "servers." I would also like this dumb fuck to explain to us how the servers can get "clogged." Is someone flushing the cache with wet wipes? [quote] What about the name change thread? Oh yes. That. Periodically I will make a thread where people can petition for name changes. If you want a name change, I flip a coin. If it lands heads, you get your name change. If it lands tails, I choose you a new name. This name can be anything. It can be funny. It can be a pun. It can be monumentally insulting. If you don't like it you cannot have it changed back. The thread is not a joke! Don't be like the guy who got a name implying that he whines excessively who then whined excessively about it and was apparently completely unaware of the irony of this situation. Complaining will not get your name changed back, and implying that the coin toss is rigged will annoy me massively because I take vague pride in the fact that I don't cheat on it. Unlike your mother. [/quote] So wacky! So quirky! So random! He might choose anything for your name! Boy, he is so edgy! He should signify your crazy new username with an <a href="http://www.caltrops.com/pointy.php?action=viewPost&pid=82825">air horn! </a> Who's the Caltrops regular that posts over there? You should be ashamed of yourself! You can repent by linking to this thread. I am willing to make fun of this shithead for the next 100 years. [/quote]