Caltrops - Orbitor 1





	[quote name="Jerry Whorebach"][quote name="<a href="http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2010-12-16-super-mario-all-stars-review?page=2">Eurogamer's Simon Parkin</a>"]The first game in the set, Super Mario Bros., defined the platform game (or "Athletic Game" as the genre was known internally at Nintendo at the time). It arranged the nascent vocabulary of its genre in the most eloquent and engaging ways. The physics, in particular, are note-perfect; Mario's trajectory when lifting off, his weight in the air, and his speed when settling into a run are all perfectly expressed.[/quote] Memo to reviewers: here's an easy way to tell if the physics in the version of <i>Super Mario Bros.</i> you're reviewing are "note-perfect" or not: as Super Mario, jump up and hit a brick with your head. If the brick smashes and Mario bounces back down to Earth like a pinball, congratulations! You've got a good port on your hands - praise away. If, on the other hand, the act of smashing the brick instead causes Mario to get <i>sucked up</i> into the space formerly occupied by the brick, as if gravity suddenly reversed itself (or someone accidentally transposed a positive integer with a negative one), then you're playing the slow, floaty, entirely <i>un-pinball-like</i> SNES port - in which case, you either need to address this deficiency or shut your praise hole long enough to admit you don't actually know what you're talking about. [quote name="<a href="http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2010-12-16-super-mario-all-stars-review?page=2">Eurogamer's Simon Parkin</a>"]But perhaps the greatest value of this pack is the packaging itself. Owning a physical copy of Super Mario All-Stars on Wii allows these games to sit proudly on your shelf, a statement to everyone who enters your home and sees it. Here is a game that, in some tiny way, made me the person I am today. Celebrate that with me. Is a ROM cheaper? Absolutely. Does it offer the same amount of value? Not even close.[/quote] Fuck off, poseur.[/quote]