Caltrops - Jerky, Mayonnaise and Sour Cream





	[quote name="Zsenitan"]The last time I posted a recipe, and this is not a joke at all, Caltrops got deleted. It was my recipe for pizza dough and seconds after it posted: Barbiegeddon. Anyway time to tempt fate. YOU WILL NEED: A great big flat-bottomed pan 1/2 lb good bacon 3-4 lb beef roast 2 huge onions Garlic, the best and firiest you can get your hands on Salt Pepper 2-3 pounds of asst. mixed peppers, hot and sweet, no more than 1/4 of them green Boiled egg noodles, spaetzle, smashed potatoes, or dry bread to soak up the juice. 3 hours. <b>Etage Premiere</b> This is a take on pepper beef that is constructed on a spine of garlic and bacon. It's critical that the bacon is good bacon and that the garlic is fresh, firm, plump, juicy, hot garlic. Sort your peppers: some will be rather dry, some very juicy, some hot, some sweet. Take most of the drier peppers and chop them up - it's fine to leave the seeds in if you have the <b>guts</b> for it. Mince an onion, and all of your garlic. Stick it all in a bowl and have it near the stove. Cook bacon in pan. Medium-low heat - the idea is to render out the fat as much as possible. It should take a while for the bacon to actually start browning, and you should remove it when it does. It doesn't matter whether you chop up the bacon before cooking it or after, but you will eventually want it to be roughly chopped. Set it aside in a bowl for now. Cover your beef roast in salt and pepper, and brown it well in the bacon fat in the pan (turn up the heat a little bit.) Once it's nice and crusty on all sides, remove it, and carve it into cutlets about 3/4in. thick. In the meantime: take your chopped peppers and onions and bacon and dump them into the pan. Saute! Get plenty of nasty beefy drippings all over everything. Once you can smell the righteous stink of pepper gas fill your kitchen, return the cutlets and any juice that dripped off of them to the pan. Add water and/or beef broth to cover. Stick a lid on it and turn the heat back down to bacon-rendering levels, and wait. You won't be touching it again, except to check the liquid level, for an hour. <b>Etage Secondiere</b> Stir that shit! Flip over all of the cutlets. Add a little more liquid if necessary. Chop up the peppers that are neither particularly dry nor juicy and add them, stirring well. Stick the lid back on and ignore it for another 40 minutes. <b>Etage Finaliere</b> Shred the remaining peppers and the second onion. Dump them in the pan, add more water if needed. Throw the lid away. You don't need it anymore, you'll never need it again. The goal at this stage is to keep your mess of peppers stirred and simmering while you reduce the cooking liquid. You will want something approximately the consistency of the kinds of salsa you buy in tubs in the refrigerated section of the grocery store. It should take about a half hour or so provided you didn't get sloppy with adding juice somewhere in the middle. Taste for seasoning, add salt/pepper as needed. The beef will be fork-tender. There should be a crisp, meaty, aromatic openness in the flavor that owes everything to the quality of your garlic. I prefer to serve this in bowls over something starchy. It's quite rich and unless you're a pussy it's also very very spicy. [/quote]