Forum Overview :: The Knuckle Shuffle :: Re: Oh, sorry, no.

[quote name="Quétinbec"][quote name="E. L. Koba"] <li>$4 whorehouse south of Baghdad (Lizard King: near bridge 16A off MSR Tampa if you are in the area)</li>[/quote] Hahaha! Lizard King was too busy winning the war to risk America's reputation on a SWEET $4 piece of ass. Mmmm, LK - she's smelling like dates with sand in her hair. HER CINNAMON THIGHS AND WILD EYES, LK!!! $4 LK!!!!!!!!! How long were you there for, Koba? I take it you just masturbated the whole time? [quote name="E. L. Koba"] If what you want to know is "How can I, Quentinbec, pick up an arab girl?" - according to people I know that worked in Kuwait (which sounds roughly analogous to Bahrain) the routine goes something like this: Go to the local TGI Fridays or whatever and hang out drinking a coca-cola (no alcohol, of course). There will be girls there, but since they aren't allowed to go out un-chaperoned they will be there with their brothers. If you can manage to catch a girls eye, you can't actually talk to her. You have to walk past and drop her your telephone # slyly so her brothers don't catch you and beat the shit out of you. Now you can text away! The other option is to somehow use bluetooth to spam out pictures of roses or someshit to whatever phone is in range, and hope that it is the girl you have your eye on. But I'm really not sure how that works.[/quote] That's the worst advice I've ever heard! I can't find anyone who's been with a non-whore Arab over there. I suppose I could hit on my unchaperoned students but I wanted to avoid that until I'm towards the end of my contract. The Lonely Planet's section on Bahrain takes it for granted you'll be able pick a girl up and doesn't mention anything about how people would react to you as a couple, but DOES offer this handy advice for your first tea date: [quote name="Lonely Planet: Bahrain"] It's considered polite to drink at least three cups (the third is traditionally considered to bestow a blessing). More may be impolite; the best advice is to follow the lady's lead. To show you've had sufficient, swivel the cup slightly between fingers and thumb. If as a traveller you try to opt out of the fifth spoonful of sugar in your tea or coffee, you will inevitably be assumed to have diabetes due to the prevalence of this disease in the Middle East.[/quote] There's your coffee shop nightmare, Jerry. In the accommodation section, they have this to say - and it's these two paragraphs alone that gave me hope and ultimately sold me on the place (there's nothing in English on the internet that's honest about it): [quote name="Lonely Planet: Bahrain"] You don't have to be Richard Gere to know that pretty women hanging around a hotel foyer does not bode altogether well for a quiet night's sleep. Indeed, many male visitors have reported being harassed with phone calls in the middle of the night, and the paper-thin walls of some of the more budget accomodation leave little to the imagination. Ask the price of a night's sleep in the infamous Hotel Bahrain, for example, and you may well receive the same reply given to us: "this hotel no-sleep - sleep cost more". Ironically, the Muslim holidays - when a wave of Saudi tourists floods over the causeway - seem to turn even the midrange hotels into a rendezvous for mostly discreet and unobtrusive liaisons. One word of warning: when a hotel says it has a floor especially for women, it often means just that, with a variety of women plying their trade. As such, women travelling on their own are better off avoiding it. Despite Manama's alter ego, however, solo women are unlikely to feel threatened on the capital's streets, which are so a-throng with people engaged in "no-sleep" they seem disinclined to mess with yours. [/quote] So if worst comes to worst, I could develop a relationship with a whore, which if you think about it would be fucking awesome for a few months. People would excuse you for it too, because it's clearly impossible to get girls through any other means. You'd do it out of frustration and loneliness and people would understand. You could totally explain it to your wife later. [quote name="E. L. Koba"] One thing to remember is that there is no middle class in arab countries. Either people are poor as sand, or rich as fuck. So don't bother with your lies about being an engineer - in their eyes you're either wealthy beyond their imagination, or, the help. [/quote] The lies are as much for me as they are for them. I'll see how far I can get with them as an honest teacher, but if I get snubbed more than, say, three times because of it, I'm calling myself a professor or saying I work finance on the side. You've got three strikes, bitches! [/quote]