Forum Overview :: Site Comments :: What? Jerry's STILL trying to kill himself?

[quote name="Mischief Maker"]Jerry, if you're perfectly willing to kill yourself, perfectly willing to hop yourself up on drugs, then wade into the cold water, sending shivers down your spine and goosebumps over your flesh, creeping higher and higher up your legs, up your chest, up to your neck, over your chin, enveloping your face, your eyes, your scalp, floating in a freezing nowhere, then you take your first gulp of filthy water and your instincts kick in and you start to gasp and choke and struggle, your lungs burning for air and violently trying to eject the water, and you struggle and thrash in panic, but the drugs you've taken have made your muscles too sluggish and your thrashings too weak to reach the surface, like a nightmare you will never awaken from, and you retch and shit yourself, clawing impotently at the impossible to reach sunlight, all the while a dreadful blackness overtakes your senses as your brain begins to die of oxygen starvation and you lose consciousness... ...then you have NOTHING to lose by hanging out at a coffee shop for a couple hours. Shit, dude, if you're this entertaining on Caltrops, you can carry on a conversation IRL, just keep the topic away from Tom Chick's sister. Even if the cute barista freaks out from you asking for coffee and the whole room pulls guns and blow you away, ED-209 style, that's still less painful and humiliating than drowning yourself.[/quote]