So this is 2D GTA, I figured why not. I’m using keyboard and mouse, but I have a feeling a controller would be better. The camera is excellent, zooms in and out as it needs to, here it pulled back and to the right a bit as I sped up in that white car. It saves anywhere, no safehouse (yet anyway). Steam link.

I’ve been playing ten hours, and I’m still on the first island but I was playing last night and finally felt comfortable controlling the damn station wagon. These missions I’ve been doing have all been pretty easy. I think the game is going easy on me, apparently when it all opens up you pick a faction. I’m not sure. So far I’m learning how to steal mainly, and haven’t received any mission yet where there is a gunfight, like would have happened by now in GTA. That’s probably coming, but since there isn’t any voice acting there’s been a bunch of missions to steal shit. Here’s the first dialog in the game, and it all goes like this, whether you’re getting a mission or robbing a store:

The map isn’t huge, but after ten hours on the first island, I am discovering new areas like an old garbage dump I hadn’t noticed.

You sneak around at night and can crouch, peek in the windows of houses to see if anyone’s inside. It shows on the screen the windows you’ve tagged, or you can pick up a skill to case the whole joint at once. Then you break in with a crowbar or a rock whatever, and it opens up this screen where you pick what to do inside the house. The red room had somebody inside, but I can travel through to other rooms and the number shows how long it’ll take to search. You get out before the police show and run from the area, hopefully don’t get seen.

You get various skills. I picked the ninja one, lets me do extra damage from crouched. I discovered mugging people outside their homes and stealing their keys. Drag em under the swingset and waltz inside their home and no cops to worry about.

If you die, you end up back in prison but just escape through another sewer pipe with none of your shit, hence the title I guess. But you keep your money and can use your cordless phone to call a car for $50.

Anyway, the writing actually hasn’t been horrible, but the music can be truely awful. There’s one song I heard one too many fucking times way way way one too many times and the mission music can be this lame-ass Gilligan’s Island shit. This is the kind of game you need to mute and provide your own soundtrack. Other than that hey I may finish it.

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Roop Dirump